Oneitis is when you become so romantically obsessed with “one special girl” that you become blinded to other women. Guys suffering from the so-called “one-itis” disease tend to have a completely unrealistic idealization of the object of their desires.
Typically your affection is unreciprocated and by putting her on a pedestal, you’ll very likely blow your chances with her. It’s very likely that she’s already relegated you to the Friend Zone and it’s going to be near impossible to get out.
In this post I’ll highlight some of the problems of fixating on one woman and clue you in on the only way to cure oneitis.
Oneitis Puts Her a Pedestal
Because you feel that this one person is so special and unique you’ll worry too much about what she thinks and put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You’ll be so nervous when you see her that it’ll be difficult for you to relax and lead the interaction with the easy-going confidence that women look for in a man.
Also remember that women are attracted to men of high status who are not afraid to express their own opinions. By being too fixated on this one girl, you’ll risk stifling the conversation by always trying to say the right thing to please her. You’ll probably try to get her opinion on things before expressing your own, not realizing that this will jeopardize your chances with her.
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Oneitis Blinds You To Possibilities
One of the biggest problems of becoming fixated with one person is that it blinds you to the possibilities out there. Approaching many women has a lot of advantages, even if there are one or two people who are especially interesting to you.
Don’t forget that you’ll never really know what a woman is like until you take the time to talk to her and you’ll often be pleasantly surprised what you discover. Also approaching different women gives you practical experience at developing your interpersonal and conversational skills and will help you to be more confident and relaxed when the stakes are higher.
She Might Not Feel The Same Way About You
Your infatuation with her indirectly communicates to her that you are not a man of high status and reduces your attractiveness. This results in a complete transfer of power from you to her. When she senses this, her sexual interest in you will be eradicated (if there was any to begin with).
Another advantage of playing the field versus getting hung up on one girl, is that you’ll learn to identify the signs that a girl likes you. This will help you avoid wasting time and energy on someone who doesn’t feel mutually about you.
Oneitis Robs You of Your Time and Energy
The goal with unreceptive women is to identify them and move on as quickly as possible. They’re time sinks. Typically if a woman is unreceptive it’s for a good reason and you’re almost never going to change her mind, and even if you could it’s often not worth the effort.
If she shuts you down, tells you she’s not interested, tells you she has a boyfriend, tells you she wants to just be friends: move on! Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’ll win her over or that she’ll come to her senses.
Seriously get over it and move on. You’re wasting your time. There are 3.5 billion women on this planet. I don’t care how special you think she is, there’s another one out there who is just as special who will be receptive to you.
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Oneitis Will Blow Your Chances With Her
The saddest irony of suffering from oneitis is that if your dream girl dominates your every waking thought, you will not be thinking clearly and will make mistakes around her. For example you might try to time your lunch break with hers and try to “coincidentally” run into her somewhere where you know she’ll be in advance.
Women are a lot more intuitive than you might think and these kind of stunts will become obvious to her very quickly. Your nervous and clingy behavior will make you come across as needy and desperate, making you even more unattractive to her. This is sure to creep her out and blow your chances with her.
How to Cure Oneitis
The most commonly prescribed treatment to get over oneitis is (surprise, surprise) to play the field and approach other women.
I know this takes guts because it means you’ll have to put yourself out there, but you’ll soon discover that there are plenty of attractive and interesting girls out there worthy of your attention. Sleep with a few of them and your infatuation with that “one special girl” will very likely quickly fade into a distant memory.
Ironically your increased success with other women will not only boost your confidence, but it’s also one of the few ways to make you more attractive to that “one special girl”. This time though you won’t be so nervous because you’ll know that she’s just one of many fish in the sea and who knows, you might have a shot with her after all!
Are you suffering from oneitis or struggling to get out of the friend zone with a girl you can’t seem to get your mind off? Let me know in the comments.
Then check out my Seduction eCourse — It’s Free!