What Women Really Want In a Man

what a woman wants

Dis­cover what women want in a man

Ever asked your­self, “What do women want from men?” If you’re con­fused about what women want in a man, you’re not alone. With so many dif­fer­ences between men and women it can be mad­den­ing unpre­dictable for a man to know what a woman really wants.

Of course these dif­fer­ences make rela­tion­ships chal­leng­ing, but also reward­ing because both men and women have strengths and weak­nesses so we’re able to com­ple­ment each other well. Today I’ll shed some light on what women want from men in a rela­tion­ship so you can improve your chances of get­ting what you want.

If you know what women want, you can rule!

Women Want Security

If you want to be seen as rela­tion­ship mate­r­ial, then you have to show that you can offer her secu­rity. Ever since cave­man days women have wanted good providers. A man had to be smart, resource­ful, a hard worker, strong and shar­ing to ensure the sur­vival of his clan.

These same qual­i­ties are still highly val­ued by women today because they mean secu­rity for her and her children. These days a good provider is a man with a good job and reli­able income. A man who is pro­tec­tive and sup­port­ive of his part­ner and family.

A good edu­ca­tion is also highly val­ued because it results in improved job prospects and opportunities. Also since most women want to have chil­dren she wants a healthy and strong man that can be depended upon to help her raise a family. More than any­thing else, women want secu­rity from a man.

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Women Want Emo­tional Bond­ing and Your Time

While women want a man with a secure job and his own inter­ests, mak­ing time for her is right at the top of her want list. She wants to feel included in your life, which means doing things together and yeah, talk­ing about stuff.

Women want a man who is will­ing to lis­ten to her and with whom she can share her daily ups and downs. Communication and time is what makes her feel cher­ished and appreciated.

The num­ber 1 com­plaint from women is, “We don’t spend enough qual­ity time together.”

Men get frus­trated with women because they like to take things slower than men. “Wanna Fuck?” would be a great opener for a women want­ing to pick up a man, but it doesn’t go down well with women. 

Women usu­ally want and need emo­tional bond­ing before phys­i­cal bond­ing. If you want to get into bed with a woman, you’re advised to make a big effort to con­nect with her emo­tion­ally through open and hon­est communication.

Women Want Mas­cu­line Men

This goes back to a woman’s need for secu­rity. Being mas­cu­line equates to being a strong and con­fi­dent man, a good provider and a man to father her chil­dren. Women want a man who is not wishy-washy or ten­ta­tive in his actions. Here are some syn­onyms for the word mas­cu­line: strong, res­olute, deci­sive, vir­ile. Here are some for the word fem­i­nine: sen­si­tive, car­ing, emo­tional, tender.

A mas­cu­line man brings excite­ment to a women’s life. Do you play­fully tease a woman, or are you always agree­ing with her? Are you able to talk with her like you talk with your friends, or are you always smil­ing and doing her favors?

If you’re a self-described nice guy, you’re prob­a­bly dis­play­ing the type of behav­ior women want in a friend, but not in a lover. This is not to say that women don’t appre­ci­ate sen­si­tive and car­ing men. They do. But the “pro­tec­tor” fac­tor is more impor­tant to them.

It’s bet­ter to come across as deci­sive, self-reliant, man of action rather than play­ing the sen­si­tive card too strongly. The biggest mis­take that typ­i­cal “nice guys” make is not being man enough to be hon­est about their own feel­ings and desires. A mas­cu­line man is hon­est about his needs and desires and rather than repelling women, it turns them on.

Women Want Attrac­tive Men

Yes, women want attrac­tive men. The good news is that women put much less empha­sis on looks than men do. Women find a wide range of men attrac­tive from hand­some to homely types. Most women value intel­li­gence, per­son­al­ity, and secu­rity over looks and the range of what women find phys­i­cally attrac­tive is extensive.

For­tu­nately you don’t have to look like Brad Pitt, Usher or Orlando Bloom. Women are unable to avoid some level of attrac­tion to a man who appears capa­ble of father­ing chil­dren and pro­vid­ing her with pro­tec­tion and secu­rity. There are also a lot of sim­ple steps you can take to make your­self more attrac­tive to women.

Con­fi­dence is attrac­tive so pay atten­tion to your body lan­guage and pos­ture. Don’t slouch or look at the ground when you walk. Stand straight with your shoul­ders pulled back. Also avoid always hav­ing your hands in your pock­ets, or your arms folded across your chest because this sug­gests inse­cu­rity and a lack of self-esteem.

Style and good per­sonal groom­ing are as impor­tant as good looks. When it comes to your wardrobe, don’t be sloppy. Are most of your clothes over two years old? Do they fit prop­erly? Are the col­ors start­ing to fade? Do you con­sis­tently under-dress in order to feel comfortable?

If you look good, you feel good and women notice you, so invest in qual­ity cloth­ing that fits well. Next time you go shop­ping, take a female friend or fam­ily mem­ber with you or ask for advice from a female mem­ber of staff at a decent cloth­ing store.

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Women Want to Be Appre­ci­ated and Respected

Just like men, women have inse­cu­ri­ties and want to com­pli­mented with sin­cere praise. Women want to hear that you like how they look, how they smell, how they dress, how they make love, how they live their life, that they’re good at their job, a good cook, a good mother, a good per­son, etc.

The fact that you noticed and told her you noticed goes a long way towards pleas­ing a woman. Check out this post for tips on how to com­pli­ment a girl the right way. Women like to be courted and wooed. There is an old say­ing that goes, “Men pur­sue, women select.”

She likes that you want to date her. She likes that you want to kiss her good­night. She also likes that you respect her bound­aries and don’t go too fast too soon. This does not mean that women don’t want sex, they just worry about los­ing respect. Some women are look­ing for fun sex. Many more are look­ing to make love with some­one they feel they can trust and with whom they have an emo­tional connection.

Do Women Really Want a Funny Man?

You’ve prob­a­bly heard women say that humor is the most impor­tant char­ac­ter­is­tic they look for in a man. Count­less sur­veys designed to reveal what women want have reached the same con­clu­sion. But I’m not con­vinced. I sus­pect the stud­ies and the women have it back­wards. Women are not attracted to funny men, but they find men who they already deem attrac­tive to be funny.

This joke rings true:

Dat­ing: “Oh, you’re so funny! I just love a man with a great sense of humor.”

Rela­tion­ship: “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Is every­thing a fuck­ing joke to you?!”

When you are attracted to some­one, you laugh more eas­ily, even at fool­ish jokes. This cre­ates the illu­sion that “I like him because he is funny,” when the reverse is really true: “I think he is funny because I like him.” When a woman is no longer attracted to a man, his jokes are more likely to irri­tate her than to make her laugh. Females and dat­ing sur­veys have con­fused cause with effect.

While a great sense of humor is a won­der­ful asset to have, too often males focus on being funny around women, act­ing like clowns, telling jokes, and per­form­ing pranks, to make the woman they want laugh. Your energy is far bet­ter spent mak­ing a women feel attrac­tion by being charm­ing, rather than funny.

Women are Less Pre­dictable Then Men

You don’t need me to tell you that when it comes to attrac­tion, women are less pre­dictable than men. Male attrac­tion is pretty straight­for­ward. Men tend to be visu­ally based and focused on phys­i­cal features. With a few excep­tions, men always like a cer­tain hip-to-waist ratio, always like youth­ful fea­tures, always like clear skin and healthy hair. The vari­ance in male pref­er­ences is quite small.

In woman this vari­ance can be quite large and it’s not as clear-cut as it is for men. Women can become attracted and aroused both phys­i­cally and psy­cho­log­i­cally. Stud­ies show that many women them­selves are unaware when they are aroused or not. To make mat­ters worse, many women don’t even know what they want them­selves. But hey, you knew that already right?

This means that any arti­cle on what women want is sub­ject to gen­er­al­iza­tions. With this in mind, make a habit of com­mu­ni­cat­ing openly with the woman in your life about her per­sonal needs and desires. A woman will do a lot to please a man who she feels an emo­tional con­nec­tion with and who knows how to give her what she wants. So the best way to get what you want from women is to make sure that her needs and desires are fulfilled.

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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