Alpha Male Body Language Secrets

Body Language Tips for Men

Body lan­guage tips for men

Stud­ies show that your body lan­guage and appear­ance account for more than half of com­mu­ni­ca­tion. Women are experts at deci­pher­ing non-verbal body lan­guage signs to rank your attrac­tive­ness before you even utter a sin­gle word. 

Have you ever noticed that men who women find attrac­tive often have a very sim­i­lar way of hold­ing their bod­ies? It usu­ally involves 3 attributes: 

  • Slow­ness. Don’t move too quickly. 
  • Smooth­ness. No jerky movements. 
  • Steadi­ness. Don’t fidget. 

What does your body lan­guage sig­nal to women? The good news is that once you’ve iden­ti­fied your poor body lan­guage cues, the major prob­lems can be fixed pretty quickly to lend you more author­ity and power and instantly boost your attractiveness.   

Weak Body Lan­guage Signs to Avoid

We can all instinc­tively tell when some­one looks uncom­fort­able. Slouch­ing, fid­get­ing, dart­ing eyes, shift­ing weight from one leg to the other, folded arms and hands hid­den in pock­ets are just some of the tell­tale signs of a lack of con­fi­dence. Unfor­tu­nately it’s less easy to see what you’re doing wrong, but we can all improve our body lan­guage in some way. 

I used to hold my beer close to my chest with very closed body lan­guage. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing this until I was out in San Fran­cisco one night and a girl approached me and told me to relax.

When in my defense I told her that I was hav­ing a good time, she moved my hand down from my chest to the side of my body and told me I look more com­fort­able that way. Now when I’m out I remind myself not to hold my beer in a way that cre­ates a bar­rier between me and every­one else. 

I also make a spe­cial effort to keep my hands out of my pock­ets so I look more con­fi­dent and so I can use my hands for delib­er­ate ges­tures. Of course this means pay­ing atten­tion not to fid­get by con­stantly touch­ing my face, scratch­ing my head, adjust­ing my cuffs or watch etc. 

One lit­tle trick that’s helped me to feel more com­fort­able with my hands at my sides and avoid fid­get­ing is to press my thumb against my index and mid­dle fin­ger so my hands aren’t always look­ing for some­thing to do. 

The point is that we all have room for improve­ment and it starts with iden­ti­fy­ing what you’re doing wrong so let’s take a look now at pos­i­tive male body lan­guage that we can model. 

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Strong Body Lan­guage Signs to Adopt

Stand up straight

Stand with your shoul­ders back, which will nat­u­rally push your chest out slightly. The back of your neck should be in line with your back and not pro­trud­ing for­ward. It can be help­ful to imag­ine a bal­loon on a string extend­ing from the crown of your head and pulling your head upwards towards the sky. This will auto­mat­i­cally make you stand upright with your spine elongated.  

If you’re self-conscious about some extra pounds around your waist, stand­ing straight will auto­mat­i­cally help to pull your gut in. A straight spine gives the impres­sion of pur­pose and strength and I don’t need to tell you that “spine­less” is another word for cowardly. 

Avoid the duck feet waddle

Now look at your feet. They should be shoul­der width apart so you feel well grounded and point­ing straight ahead or very slightly out­ward. A lot of guys make the mis­take of walk­ing with their feet point­ing out­wards like a duck. This looks unnat­ural and results in poor posture.  

Walk with a swagger

When you walk, swing your shoul­ders slightly to cre­ate a relaxed and con­fi­dent swag­ger. If you don’t move your shoul­ders at all when you walk then you’ll look tense. Of course you don’t want to overdo it either or you’ll risk look­ing like a gang­ster or a cow­boy. You’ll also want to swing your arms in a nat­ural way so you don’t look too stiff or robotic.

Make strong eye contact

When you walk you eyes should be look­ing straight in front of you and not down to the ground. Don’t for­get to look peo­ple in the eye when you walk by because it demon­strates that you’re con­fi­dent, strong and have noth­ing to hide. It’s sur­pris­ing how few guys actu­ally make and hold eye con­tact with women, that it really says some­thing about you when you do.

Remem­ber it’s not a star­ing match, your goal should be soft, nat­ural eye con­tact. If you’re not used to hold­ing eye con­tact with women it might feel uncom­fort­able at first. So if you need some time to prac­tice hold­ing eye con­tact, then remem­ber to break eye con­tact to the side rather than down, which con­veys weakness. 

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Per­fect the inward smile

When it comes to smil­ing, you don’t need to walk around with a smile per­ma­nently plas­tered to your face because it looks unnat­ural. A well timed smile accom­pa­nied by strong eye con­tact is much more effec­tive than a per­ma­nent grin. So instead, prac­tice smil­ing inwardly at yourself. 

A slight inward smile that’s only vis­i­ble on the cor­ners of your mouth and in your eyes will fill you with pos­i­tive energy and make you look con­fi­dent, intrigu­ing and attrac­tive. Think of it as smil­ing through your eyes.  

Sit up straight

When sit­ting, try to keep your ears, shoul­ders and hips aligned. This forces you to sit up straight. Also keep the soles of your feet flat on the floor. This will help to keep you grounded and avoid ner­vous fid­get­ing like bounc­ing your knee. Your head should not pro­trude for­ward like the poor pos­ture a lot of peo­ple have when sit­ting in front of the computer.

Relax your tongue 

One help­ful tip that I learnt from yoga is to avoid press­ing your tongue against the roof of your mouth. This is some­thing peo­ple tend to do when they’re tense so by remind­ing your­self to relax your tongue you can relieve a ten­sion in your body. 

Keep your move­ments slow and controlled

Your move­ments should be calm, slow and delib­er­ate. This shows that you’re in con­trol of your body and you’re not eas­ily intimidated. Think James Bond econ­omy of move­ment here. He moves slowly yet pur­pose­fully and doesn’t waste energy on unnec­es­sary head or arm move­ments or ner­vous shift­ing or twitching. 

Take up space

Con­fi­dent peo­ple aren’t afraid to take up space. Stand with a wide, con­fi­dent stance and use ges­tures. When you sit, spread your­self out a lit­tle. The more space you give your­self, the more space other peo­ple will give you. This is espe­cially true on the dance floor.  

Shake hands firmly

I shouldn’t really have to men­tion this, but some peo­ple seem to need a reminder. A firm hand­shake, that’s nei­ther crush­ing nor limp, while you look some­one in the eyes works won­ders in both busi­ness and per­sonal situations. 

It says so much about you if you can walk up to a girl and intro­duce your­self while you offer her your hand in a friendly but assertive way. It’s com­mu­ni­cates con­fi­dence, friend­li­ness and high status.  

Clos­ing Thoughts

The next time you’re out, observe the peo­ple around you and see who has good and bad body lan­guage. This will help you to become more aware of your own body language. Also, get some role mod­els from movies and real life and pin­point what about them it is that con­veys easy, pow­er­ful masculinity. 

Remem­ber that con­sis­tency is key. Make a con­scious effort to have great pos­ture all the time. I know it’s a lot to think about at first, but if you keep remind­ing your­self of these body lan­guage tips, before long good body lan­guage will come nat­u­rally to you.

If your pos­ture is par­tic­u­larly bad or if you suf­fer from back pain, you might want to learn about Alexan­der tech­nique or join a local yoga class, which is also a great way to meet beau­ti­ful women


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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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