How to “Be Yourself” Around Beautiful Women

Learn to be your­self around beau­ti­ful women

Some of the most frus­trat­ing dat­ing advice is pre­cisely the sug­ges­tion most friends and fam­ily offer, “Just be your­self and the rest will come naturally”.

If you got nookie for every time you heard the “just be your­self” line you’d be Casanova, right? So just why is it so dif­fi­cult to be your­self around beau­ti­ful women and what does this pop­u­lar dat­ing advice really mean?

Dat­ing Skills Make “Being Your­self” Easier

If you’ve not had much suc­cess with women up to now, it’s not entirely your fault. Soci­ety seems to think that dat­ing is a nat­ural process that we should get right with­out guid­ance. Think about it, back in high school did you have classes on social eti­quette, or coaches teach­ing you how to make women swoon? I doubt it.

If you’ve not had much suc­cess with women up to now, it’s not entirely your fault.

Dat­ing behav­iors are com­plex social skills that must be learned. Dat­ing requires learn­ing social rules, read­ing sub­tle body lan­guage, and expe­ri­enc­ing some rejec­tion. If that weren’t enough, there is heaps of com­pe­ti­tion when it comes to attract­ing the most beau­ti­ful women. If you dilly-dally or fail to put your best foot for­ward, you lose.

To make mat­ters worse, men and women are wired dif­fer­ently. Not only are women more ver­bally and emo­tion­ally expres­sive, they are also more in tune with non-verbal com­mu­ni­ca­tion than men. So being ner­vous or inse­cure can blow your chances with a woman even before you utter a sin­gle word. What’s more, the man that is usu­ally expected to lead the inter­ac­tion in every­thing from the ini­tial approach, to the first kiss, and the act of sex itself.

With this much pres­sure, it’s no won­der it’s so hard to relax and be your­self around attrac­tive women. The good news is that even if you are a shy guy, with the right atti­tude and the right infor­ma­tion, you can dras­ti­cally improve your suc­cess rate with women. That’s not to say it’ll be easy, but it’ll cer­tainly be worth the effort.

What Does “Being Your­self” Really Mean?

Even if most of your social inter­ac­tions are awk­ward, stress­ful and short, there are prob­a­bly one or two peo­ple with whom you feel com­fort­able. Peo­ple with whom you can joke around, have great con­ver­sa­tions, and just plain relax. These peo­ple see your best self; the inter­est­ing, funny, ener­getic guy who is fun to be around.

Always be a first-rate ver­sion of your­self, instead of a second-rate ver­sion of some­body else. ~Judy Garland

Being your­self means empha­siz­ing your pos­i­tive char­ac­ter­is­tics to be a first-rate ver­sion of your­self, and not try­ing to impress peo­ple by being some­one you’re not. Your behav­ior should con­vince women of your pos­i­tive attrib­utes and make them feel good in your company. Granted it’s not always easy to put your best foot for­ward, but to “be your­self” means striv­ing to do just that.

Being your­self means being friendly, pos­i­tive, sin­cere, hon­est and inter­ested. This means smil­ing and being upbeat about life. It means hav­ing a laugh and not tak­ing your­self too seri­ously. It means hav­ing the con­fi­dence to express your own opin­ions and mean­ing what you say. It means lis­ten­ing and show­ing a gen­uine inter­est in the peo­ple you com­mu­ni­cate with.

“Be Your­self” Assumes the Best of People

“Be your­self” is about the worst advice you can give some peo­ple. ~Tom Masson

The advice to “be your­self” assumes the best of peo­ple and there­fore implies that you should avoid­ing being:

• Neg­a­tive — If you bad-mouth oth­ers, what’s to stop you from bad-mouthing your present com­pany too? You don’t want a rep­u­ta­tion for being a downer or gossiper.
• Whiny — Moan­ing about your prob­lems doesn’t help to solve them, and it’s unat­trac­tive too.
• Boast­ful — Nobody likes a braggart. If you need to show off to impress a woman, what does that say about your personality?
• Obscene — Woman love a man with a sense of humor but vul­gar ges­tures, jokes and obser­va­tions are a turn-off.
• Stingy — Women notice signs of stingi­ness far sooner than men, so don’t be a free­loader. Buy a round of drinks, leave a tip for ser­vice and rather err on the side of generosity.
• Aggres­sive — Never use strong-arm tac­tics to get what you want, be it through emo­tional out­bursts, manip­u­la­tion, insults or phys­i­cal intim­i­da­tion. Women respect calm and assertive men, but not aggres­sive men.

Clos­ing Thoughts

The good news here is that when it comes to suc­cess with women, you don’t need to adopt some phoney “player per­sona” the million-dollar seduc­tion indus­try wants to sell you. It helps to remem­ber that other peo­ple are not bet­ter than you. Even beau­ti­ful women have inse­cu­ri­ties and social fears of one sort or another.

If you treat peo­ple as your equal and aim to be the way you are around your best friends (with a few impor­tant dif­fer­ences) you’ll be on the right path to attract­ing a high qual­ity woman who loves you for who you are.

Be your­self; every­body else is taken. ~Oscar Wilde

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