What Video Games Can Teach You About Confidence

How to be confident with girls

Dis­cover what video games can teach you about confidence

Con­fi­dence is irre­sistible to women because a con­fi­dent man looks hap­pier and more capa­ble of han­dling respon­si­bil­ity and ensur­ing her secu­rity. So how can you become more con­fi­dent with girls?

Con­fi­dence is noth­ing more than a belief in your­self and your abil­i­ties. Con­fi­dence is not all encom­pass­ing, instead it’s spe­cific to dif­fer­ent areas of your life.

For exam­ple, you can be con­fi­dent at play­ing the gui­tar or speak­ing Span­ish if you’ve taken the time to develop com­pe­tence in these skills. In the same way, you can be con­fi­dent at your job if you have the nec­es­sary expe­ri­ence and exper­tise to carry out your work. But con­fi­dence in the work­place doesn’t guar­an­tee con­fi­dence with women.  

What I’m get­ting at here is that con­fi­dence comes with com­pe­tence. In order to be con­fi­dent at some­thing, you need to take the time to develop your skills in that spe­cific activity.

First do the thing you’re scared of. Then you get the courage. — Matt Hussey

Con­fi­dence With Women is Like Surfing

To use surf­ing as an anal­ogy, you won’t be con­fi­dent pad­dling out in a 6 foot swell if you’ve never surfed before. How­ever, with reg­u­lar prac­tice in smaller waves, you can build your skills and con­fi­dence level.

And even when you are skill­ful enough to take on the big­ger waves, you’ll still get dumped and wipe out from time to time. But don’t let that put you off because at the end of the day, you’ll remem­ber those gnarly waves that you rip to shreds, not the wipe outs.

It’s sim­i­lar with women…

Just because a guy is con­fi­dent around girls, that’s not to say that he’s con­fi­dent in all areas of his life. It just means that he’s spent more time with women so he’s had more prac­tice meet­ing, dat­ing and attract­ing them.

The guys who enjoy the great­est suc­cess with women, are the guys who are pre­pared to risk the sting of rejec­tion by putting them­selves out there.

Remem­ber that even the great­est pickup artists in the world had to start some­where and they’ve all been rejected many hun­dreds of times. Even now that they’re great with women they still get rejected, but it’s a small price to pay for steamy rela­tion­ships with hot, sexy and high-quality women.

The moral of the story…

Seduc­tion is a skill that needs to be learned and con­fi­dence with girls is the nat­ural out­come of risk­ing rejec­tion to meet, date and attract women. Remem­ber that it’s your suc­cesses that count, not your failures.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. — Wayne Gretzky

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3 Mis­con­cep­tions About Confidence

Don’t let these 3 com­mon mis­con­cep­tions about con­fi­dence with girls keep you from the ful­fill­ing rela­tion­ships you deserve: 

1) You need to be rich or good look­ing to be confident

Don’t fool your­self into think­ing that con­fi­dence is about fame, money, power or good looks. Sure, these things are a bonus because they can make you feel good about your­self, but they are not strictly required, nor do they guar­an­tee confidence. 

We’ve all seen ugly guys with beau­ti­ful women and per­haps you even know good look­ing guys who lack con­fi­dence. It’s naive to think that when you finally get that pro­mo­tion and raise, that your roman­tic life will mag­i­cally fall into place. Postponing your pur­suit of women until you’ve reached your goals is a bad idea because you could lit­er­ally waste a life­time doing it — many guys do. 

It’s like any other area of your life, if you don’t prac­tice, you get worse. The only way to improve your con­fi­dence with women is to get out there and approach and talk to more women.

Think about the suc­cess the aver­age bar­tender enjoys with women. It’s not because he is high sta­tus or espe­cially well paid, it’s sim­ply because he’s com­fort­able in his envi­ron­ment and his work enables him to meet girls eas­ily so he gets a lot of prac­tice with them.  

2) Con­fi­dence is some­thing you’re either born with, or you’re not

And don’t make the mis­take of believ­ing that you’re either born with the “con­fi­dence gene” or you’re not. We were all born into this world believ­ing we were the cen­ter of it and with the con­fi­dence to run around naked, with­out any inse­cu­ri­ties about our­selves. We never let fail­ure stop us from learn­ing to crawl, walk, run, jump, climb and much more. 

It’s only when we start wor­ry­ing what other peo­ple think of us that we crip­ple our­selves with inse­cu­rity. We start judg­ing our­selves based on other peo­ples’ reac­tions to us.

Don’t think of con­fi­dence as a per­son­al­ity trait that you either have or you don’t have, rather think of it as a “state” that we all have the abil­ity to get into. We’ve all expe­ri­enced con­fi­dence in an area of our lives so we know what it feels like. 

The trick is to learn to evoke and main­tain a con­fi­dent state in our­selves. Using pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions and lis­ten­ing to moti­vat­ing music are two great ways to get into a pos­i­tive state, oth­er­wise known as “the zone.”

3) You have to adopt some fake per­sona to be con­fi­dent with girls

Some guys think that you have to dress or behave a cer­tain kind of way to attract women, but the fact is that women find dif­fer­ent types of men attrac­tive. To be con­fi­dent with women, the most impor­tant thing is that you present your­self in a style that’s con­gru­ent with your per­son­al­ity and lifestyle.  

Dress in a style that por­trays your per­son­al­ity in the best light, whether it be busi­ness like, sophisticated, trendy, vin­tage, bohemian, sporty, edgy, rocker, punk, gothic or what­ever else. 

At the end of the day you want to be the kind of guy that would attract the type of girl you’re look­ing for, so you won’t do your­self any favors by imi­tat­ing peo­ple who have dif­fer­ent tastes and interests. 

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Video Game Con­fi­dence is Like Girl Confidence

Con­fi­dence with girls is like play­ing a video game. When you first start play­ing a new game you lose lives quickly, because every­thing is new to you and you haven’t mas­tered the moves.

The more you play, the bet­ter you get because you’re able to pre­dict what’s com­ing and apply the skills you’ve learnt. Think of your­self as Super Mario, and you can get your princess if you’ll just have the balls to get out there and play the game!

Clos­ing Thoughts…

The only way to expand your com­fort zone, is to live out­side it — Char­lie Valentino

I know it’s eas­ier said than done, espe­cially if you’re a nat­ural intro­vert, but if you want to get bet­ter at any area of your life, you need to get out of your com­fort zone. So when you’re next faced with the deci­sion whether or not to approach an attrac­tive girl, ask your­self which path is going to give you growth? Then remem­ber what JFK said, “We do things, not because they’re easy, but because they’re hard.”


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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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