How to Attract Women With Your Voice

Improve your speaking voice

How to improve your speak­ing voice

Guys tend to over­look the fact that your tonal­ity, or the sound of your voice, is more impor­tant in mak­ing a great impres­sion than what you actu­ally say.

If you talk in a high-pitched nasal whine, women won’t be attracted to you and your con­fi­dence with girls will take a knock. It’s not that you need to have a sexy voice per se, but you should have a con­trolled and expres­sive voice with good volume.

These tips will help you to improve your speak­ing voice and turn up your sex appeal.

Speak in Your Chest Voice

If you’ve ever sung in a choir, you’ll know that we actu­ally have two “voices”: a head voice and a chest voice. Your head voice takes care of the high notes. It orig­i­nates in your throat and when using your head voice you breathe out of your nose. 

You use your chest voice for the low notes. It orig­i­nates lower down in your diaphragm and when using your chest voice you breathe out through your mouth. As you’ve prob­a­bly guessed, speak­ing in your head voice makes you sound more mas­cu­line and confident. 

Try this vocal exer­cise to find your chest voice:  

Sing “Ahhh…”, then slowly raise it and lower it. It should sound a bit like a siren, up high, down low, up high, down low etc. As you do this notice where you feel the air pres­sure. As you shift from high to low, it goes from your head to your chest. Put your hand on your chest to feel the vibra­tions in your chest when you’re in chest voice. 

Now read the fol­low­ing sen­tence out loud: 

Why don’t you put your num­ber in my phone and we can meet up for a cof­fee sometime.

Now hold your nose and read it again. How dif­fer­ent does it sound? If it sounds very sim­i­lar, then you’re prob­a­bly already using your chest voice. If it sounds very nasally when you hold your nose, then you need to prac­tice speak­ing with a deeper voice until there is not much difference.

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How Does Your Speak­ing Voice Sound?

Most of us are sur­pris­ingly unaware of the sound or impact of our own voice because we don’t hear our voice the way other peo­ple do. With the goal of improv­ing your voice, it’s a good idea to record your voice as you read or even bet­ter, record your side of a phone con­ver­sa­tion. Then ask your­self these questions: 

  • Do I speak clearly or mumble? 
  • Do I speak too quickly to pro­nounce all my words properly?
  • Do I main­tain a decent vol­ume through­out my sen­tences, with­out trail­ing off at the end?
  • Do I try to to speak con­tin­u­ously because I’m uncom­fort­able with pauses in conversation? 

A lot of guys are in the habit of speak­ing too quickly. It’s almost as if they’re wor­ried that if they don’t speak fast enough, then peo­ple won’t hear them out. This is needy behav­ior. It makes you sound ner­vous and results in poor pro­nun­ci­a­tion, get­ting tongue-tied and being mis­un­der­stood. On the other hand, speak­ing in a slow, con­trolled man­ner shows confidence. 

Talk­ing too fast also results in you speak­ing more in your head voice, so your voice sounds higher-pitched, which betrays your nervousness. Another com­mon prob­lem is drop­ping your vol­ume and swal­low­ing your words as you rush to fin­ish your sen­tence. When peo­ple reg­u­larly mis­un­der­stand you it makes you appear weak or sub­mis­sive, obvi­ously some­thing to avoid.

Shy guys tend to be softly spo­ken. Speak­ing louder is a sim­ple way to dis­guise nerves and come across more confidently. On the other hand bark­ing at peo­ple in too loud a voice can be inter­preted as arro­gance and a need to be in the cen­ter of atten­tion, so try to strike a happy medium remem­ber­ing to adjust your vol­ume to suit the occasion. 

Breathe into Your Diaphragm

When we’re ner­vous, our breath­ing tends to become faster, shal­lower and more erratic. Diaphragmatic breath­ing helps you to breathe more deeply into your lungs and gives you bet­ter vocal con­trol and helps improves your vocal tone. 

You can prac­tice breath­ing from you diaphragm by lying on your back with your hand on your stom­ach. When you breathe in, pull the breathe right down through your lungs and into your stom­ach so your hand rises. Then exhale slowly mak­ing a long, con­tin­u­ous and con­stant note. 

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Pause, to Improve Your Voice Quality

One sim­ple solu­tion to the com­mon vocal prob­lems guys have is to take a deep breath from the diaphragm before speak­ing. This does a few things:

  • It fills your lungs with air so you can talk with­out run­ning out of breath or ner­vously rush­ing to finish.
  • It gives you the chance to gather your thoughts, mod­er­ate your pitch and speed and appear in control.
  • It helps you to relax.

Don’t worry about the pause in con­ver­sa­tion as you take a breath, if any­thing, it can make you seem like a thought­ful speaker. You’ll be amazed at the dif­fer­ence a sim­ple pause can make to the qual­ity of your voice! 

Another tip for speak­ing in a con­fi­dent, well-projected voice is to main­tain good pos­ture both when stand­ing and sit­ting. This helps you to breathe deeper into your chest and keep your air­waves open and free. 

Invest in Improv­ing Your Speak­ing Skills

A well-rounded, emo­tive and con­trolled voice is the most attrac­tive to lis­ten to. It’s funny how we spend a for­tune of prod­ucts that make is look and smell attrac­tive, yet very few peo­ple invest in vocal train­ing to improve their speak­ing voice, one of the most pow­er­ful assets we possess.    

There are so many ways to get a bet­ter speak­ing voice includ­ing tak­ing an act­ing or stand-up com­edy class, doing some pub­lic speak­ing or try some online singing lessons. Or how about doing some fund-raising for a char­ity, either face-to-face or on the phone. Even yoga can indi­rectly give you more con­trol over your voice by improv­ing your pos­ture and diaphrag­matic breathing.

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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