How to Build “Alpha Male” Self-Esteem in 10 Minutes a Day

Improving Self-Esteem With Positive Affirmations

How to Improve Self-Esteem With Pos­i­tive Affirmations

Today I’ll be shar­ing the sin­gle most pow­er­ful per­son­al­ity trait that helps to attract beau­ti­ful women. And how to develop it in just 10 min­utes a day.

Yes, you’ll be pleased to know that you don’t have to be rich, famous or hung like a horse to attract qual­ity women. And when it comes to looks, women are a much more for­giv­ing than men.

Every­one knows at least one guy who is nei­ther loaded nor espe­cially good look­ing, yet who has no prob­lem attract­ing women. And you might even know of an arro­gant jerk who doesn’t treat women well, yet for some mys­te­ri­ous rea­son women are attracted to him like moths to a flame. Maybe you’ve won­dered how could they pos­si­bly be so naive? 

How Self-Esteem Affects Your Social Status

Here’s the thing, women are attracted to men who demon­strate high sta­tus through a num­ber of spe­cific per­son­al­ity and behav­ioral traits. Your social sta­tus has every­thing to do with how you behave around other peo­ple, how other peo­ple behave around you, and how you treat yourself.

In fact, how you treat your­self is the most impor­tant because it directly influ­ences how you behave around other peo­ple and how they behave around you.

So one of the most impor­tant traits to becom­ing an attrac­tive man is a strong sense of self-belief. This means being a man who likes him­self, trusts him­self and is con­fi­dent in his abil­ity to get things done.

Cen­tral to this mind­set is a set of beliefs about how oth­ers should treat you and what you’re right­fully enti­tled to in this world. These beliefs will empower you to behave in a way that’s attrac­tive to women and to be suc­cess­ful in life.

It also goes a long way to explain why some arro­gant guys have no prob­lem attract­ing women purely due to their inflated self-confidence. Of course women don’t go out of their way to date jerks and they’ll usu­ally see a man for what he is sooner or later, but it’s unde­ni­able that con­fi­dence attracts.

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How You See Your­self Influ­ences Others

The point I’m mak­ing here is that your beliefs shape your behav­iors and your behav­iors shape how oth­ers per­ceive and treat you.

If you don’t believe that you’re wor­thy of a beau­ti­ful girl­friend then attract­ing one will be “mis­sion impos­si­ble” because you’ll behave in a way that com­mu­ni­cates need­i­ness, infe­ri­or­ity or inad­e­quacy — qual­i­ties that repulse women.

On the other hand, if you’re con­vinced that you’re a great catch with a lot to offer any girl, regard­less of how beau­ti­ful, then you’ll con­vey this in your behav­ior. Women will pick up on it and find you attrac­tive. It might sound hard to believe, but it’s absolutely true.

But if you don’t value and respect your­self, how can you expect other peo­ple to love you? It’s easy for women to fil­ter out men with low self-esteem if your behav­ior is say­ing, “I’m not so impor­tant, so don’t bother treat­ing me well.”

Fak­ing Self-Esteem is a Band-Aid Solution

The pick up artist com­mu­nity tends to band-aid the prob­lem by teach­ing ways to mis­lead women into think­ing you’re high sta­tus and con­fi­dent, when the real solu­tion is to be high sta­tus and confident.

Women aren’t stu­pid. In fact they’re experts at siz­ing men up, so fak­ing it is not a long term solu­tion. Sure if you’re very lucky you might get laid, but you’ll never be able to main­tain long term rela­tion­ships with qual­ity women with­out gen­uine con­fi­dence and self-belief.

Real con­fi­dence means wor­ry­ing less about other people’s per­cep­tion of you than in your per­cep­tion of your­self. It means being con­tent with your life and proud of who you are.

Real con­fi­dence allows you to show inter­est in women with­out appear­ing needy and with­out act­ing phony or fake because you fig­ure that if a woman doesn’t appre­ci­ate you for who you are, then it’s her loss and you’re bet­ter off with­out her.

Real con­fi­dence turns you into a man with options. A non-needy, high sta­tus man whom women love to be around. Real con­fi­dence makes women become more highly invested in you than you are in them because you have the “je ne sais quoi” that women are look­ing for in a man.

So, how can you get rid of your hang-ups and lim­it­ing beliefs and become more confident?

Nobody Expects You to Be Perfect

Well firstly it’s help­ful to remem­ber that nobody is per­fect and every­one has their own set of issues, includ­ing the most beau­ti­ful women in the world. We all have our weak­nesses, embar­rass­ments and vul­ner­a­bil­i­ties so you’re cer­tainly not unique in that regard.

Your goal should be to become the best pos­si­ble ver­sion of your­self. It’s not about elim­i­nat­ing your flaws com­pletely, but more about accept­ing your­self uncon­di­tion­ally and striv­ing to be as good as you can be by set­ting high stan­dards for your­self and believ­ing that you can improve. 

If you’re con­fi­dent enough to express your­self freely and have the strength of char­ac­ter to expose your imper­fec­tions with­out wor­ry­ing what other peo­ple think, then you’ll come across as non-needy and there­fore high sta­tus and attrac­tive to women. 

What’s Hold­ing You Back?

When we worry too much what other peo­ple think of us, we crip­ple our­selves with inse­cu­rity. We start judg­ing our­selves based on other peo­ples’ reac­tions to us. Perhaps you’ve been teased or even bul­lied in the past and this has resulted in deep-seated lim­it­ing beliefs about your­self, what you’re capa­ble of achiev­ing or who you’re capa­ble of attracting.

If this is the case, bear in mind that often peo­ple say things that they don’t really mean, or at least they don’t expect their words to have the scar­ring effect that they do. And peo­ple who do intend to do you emo­tional harm, usu­ally have enough issues and hang-ups of their own that you needn’t waste your time wor­ry­ing about their opin­ion of you.

Or maybe you were rejected by a girl you really liked and you’ve allowed that to neg­a­tively influ­ence your self-belief. Per­haps that expe­ri­ence has made you feel ner­vous and uncom­fort­able around women you’re attracted to. It’s easy to for­get that rejec­tion is a part of life and that nobody is rejec­tion proof.

In fact rejec­tion can even be a good thing, par­tic­u­larly if you learn to think of it as “feed­back” rather than rejec­tion. This will help you to learn from mis­takes to become a more attrac­tive man.

But rejec­tion can be good in other ways because it can keep peo­ple apart who aren’t good for each other. Rejec­tion can help you sift through the women who are not good for you and get to the ones who will appre­ci­ate you for the per­son you are, that much quicker. 

Some­times our par­ents carry some of the blame because we were raised in a way such as not to express our emo­tions freely. So we’ve become sti­fled and bot­tled up because we’re wor­ried about being too con­tro­ver­sial, unique, crazy, stu­pid or even selfish. 

What it boils down to is that your opin­ion of your­self is the only opin­ion that really mat­ters because how you see your­self shapes your reality. The trick is to develop your pos­i­tive per­son­al­ity traits so they out­weigh neg­a­tiv­ity and self-doubt.

Take Respon­si­bil­ity for Your “Inner Game”

Irrel­e­vant of who or what you think is to blame for your inse­cu­ri­ties, it’s vital that from today you stop mak­ing excuses for your sit­u­a­tion and take respon­si­bil­ity for your life. It’s called self–esteem for a rea­son, because it’s how you regard your­self, which is a deci­sion entirely up to you. 

Don’t give some­one the sat­is­fac­tion of watch­ing you suf­fer because the best revenge is mov­ing on and get­ting over it. Remember since you are the most impor­tant per­son in your life, you can act that way for no spe­cial reason. This focus on tak­ing respon­si­bil­ity for your self-esteem and devel­op­ing a pos­i­tive mind­set is what attrac­tion experts call mas­ter­ing your “inner game”.

Unless you take respon­si­bil­ity to pro­gram your own mind, the world will pro­gram it for you. Take respon­si­bil­ity to pro­gram your own mind with pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions to become a bet­ter and more con­fi­dent ver­sion of yourself.

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even if you’re not nat­u­rally good with women!
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Improve Self-Esteem With Pos­i­tive Affirmations

So what are pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions and how can you use them to increase your con­fi­dence with women?

Affir­ma­tions are noth­ing more than focused and spe­cific state­ments about your­self that act pos­i­tively on your sub­con­scious mind. Over time they affect your self-image, con­fi­dence and beliefs. Writ­ing and repeat­ing affir­ma­tions is a great way of coun­ter­act­ing the neg­a­tive influ­ences that other peo­ple, the media, and soci­ety have on your self-esteem and belief system.

Affir­ma­tions should be based on how you pic­ture your ideal self and they should make you feel good emotionally. Affirmations are only effec­tive if they’re in the present tense and avoid neg­a­tive words. So instead of say­ing “I don’t get rejected”, a more effec­tive affir­ma­tion would be “Beau­ti­ful women are attracted to me.” 

Peo­ple are very quick to write off affir­ma­tions as hocus-pocus non­sense, but I have absolutely no doubt that they work. Here are some exam­ple affir­ma­tions that you could use to help you to become the kind of man that women are look­ing for. Feel free to reuse the ones that you like or edit them to make them more mean­ing­ful to you. 

Pos­i­tive Affir­ma­tions for Self-Esteem: 

  • I love and respect myself and I feel empow­ered around women.
  • My life is inter­est­ing and I live my life with pur­pose and passion.
  • I have every­thing I need to be happy and opti­mistic about the future.
  • I am con­fi­dent, calm, relaxed and emo­tion­ally strong.
  • I am charm­ing, intrigu­ing and charis­matic and women are nat­u­rally attracted to me.
  • I feel grounded and com­fort­able in my own skin.
  • I am chal­leng­ing, play­ful and fun and I make women smile easily.
  • I am deci­sive and feel com­fort­able tak­ing respon­si­bil­ity and lead­ing inter­ac­tions with women.
  • I am socia­ble and I meet fun, pos­i­tive people.
  • I am a good lis­tener and easy to talk to.
  • I have inter­est­ing ideas to con­tribute to con­ver­sa­tion and I make my opin­ions known.
  • I am hon­est and respect­ful in my deal­ings with oth­ers and treat peo­ple as I’d like to be treated.
  • I attract women with my own unique style and personality.
  • I know that rejec­tion is only feed­back that helps me to improve my skills with women.
  • I have healthy sex­ual desires and I’m com­fort­able with my sexuality.
  • I com­mu­ni­cate my feel­ings and desires openly and non-apologetically.
  • I am always in the right place at the right time, meet­ing the right peo­ple and being offered the best opportunities.
  • I live in a world of abun­dance with many beau­ti­ful and fun-loving women.
  • I know that every­thing will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
  • I know that the hap­pi­est peo­ple don’t have the best of every­thing, they just make the best of everything.
  • I live my life on my own terms. I am proud of who I am and I refuse to be any­one else.
  • I am in con­trol of my life and I shape my own reality.
  • I walk with my shoul­ders back, head up, stom­ach in and I look peo­ple in the eye, proud of who I am.

I sug­gest writ­ing your affir­ma­tions in a note app on your phone so you always have them with you. Another great idea is to record your­self read­ing them and lis­ten to that record­ing when you wake up in the morn­ing, dur­ing your morn­ing com­mute or before bed.

Trans­form Your Life in 10 Min­utes a Day 

It only takes 10 min­utes a day to read your affir­ma­tions to your­self out loud. The more you repeat them, the deeper they’ll sink into your sub-conscious mind, and the more trans­for­ma­tional they’ll be. Try to visu­al­ize your­self while you say your affir­ma­tions and say it like you mean it. 

Remem­ber, this isn’t about being in a state of denial about your weak­nesses. In fact, peo­ple are attracted to each oth­ers rough edges because it’s what makes us human. Use these affir­ma­tions to increase your self-esteem and con­fi­dence in women despite your imperfections.

With time they will help you to over­come chal­lenges, seize oppor­tu­ni­ties and become a bet­ter, stronger and more attrac­tive man. Remem­ber that you con­trol the movie of your life and you decide the role you’re going to play. Every­one else is just a guest in your reality.

It might seem weird at first, but for the next two weeks com­mit 10 min­utes a day to test these affir­ma­tions yourself. I’m con­fi­dent that you’ll notice pos­i­tive changes in the way you feel about your­self and the way you inter­act with oth­ers. Do this for two years and you can lit­er­ally trans­form your life!

Look, I know that 99% of the guys who read this post will think that pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions are lame or they will be too lazy to take action. But if you don’t change your habits, you can’t expect to change the results you’ve been get­ting in your life. Like with a fit­ness pro­gram, habit is des­tiny. First shape your habits and then they’ll shape you.

If you found this help­ful and you’re part of that 1% of guys who is pre­pared to take action, then please leave a com­ment below.

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →


  1. To be hon­est, when I first saw the title of the arti­cle I thought, “Great another bro-jam arti­cle to arti­fi­cially inflate your ego to chuck nor­ris leg­ends.” But the end­ing with the affir­ma­tions is very pow­er­ful. Just read­ing them aloud made me feel bet­ter and now I shall everyday,

    • Thanks for your com­ment Ro! Of all the posts on this web­site, this is the one I’m most pleased to see a pos­i­tive com­ment about.

      Pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions are so sim­ple to use, yet so pow­er­ful. We waste so much time on social media, surf­ing the web, watch­ing TV and play­ing video games that it’s strange how hard it can be to com­mit just 10 min­utes a day to doing some­thing con­struc­tive and poten­tially life changing.

      I owe a lot of my con­fi­dence and hap­pi­ness to my habit of reaf­firm­ing my val­ues and pos­i­tive attrib­utes and it has def­i­nitely helped me to get more out of life. It’s all too easy to get dis­tracted so keep at it!


      P.S. — If you enjoy these affir­ma­tions, you might also enjoy this grat­i­tude exer­cise to ban­ish neg­a­tiv­ity from your life.

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