Still struggling to ask for her phone number?
Asking for a girl’s phone number allows you to test her interest, build a stronger connection and potentially set up a date. It’s an important step in the dating process, but that doesn’t mean it has to be hard.
In this post I’m going to share more great ways to get a girl’s number, but you don’t have to memorize all of these techniques. A few reliable number closes should be more than enough to handle most situations. With this in mind, let’s start by taking a look at the standard number close.
#1 The Standard “No Ask” Number Close
Use this standard number close with a girl you’ve just met, but established some rapport with.
Listen, I’m in a bit of a hurry right now, my friends are expecting me. But I’d like to continue our conversation.
As you say this, hand her your phone. She’ll instinctively know what to do and if you’re confident and decisive, she’ll do it. You can also prompt her with something like:
Punch your number in there.
By handing her your phone, not only will she be more likely to give you her number, but it also subconsciously communicates that you trust her, which will make her trust you more.
Probably the best thing about this number close is that you don’t actually use the dreaded cliche, “Can I have your number?” These words can set off a negative trigger in a girl’s mind because they’ve been so overused by guys who she probably wasn’t interested in.
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#2 The “What’s the Best Way to Keep in Touch” Close
Asking for a girl’s number can be as easy or as complicated as you make it. One of the most effective ways to keep in touch with a girl is simply to ask her what the best way to keep in touch with her is. This technique is so obvious, but it’s often overlooked.
You: Listen, I need to get going and meet my friends. What’s the best way to keep in touch with you?
Her: You can take my number/add me on Facebook/email me.
This is a very natural sounding way to end an enjoyable conversation. Best of all, it almost makes it seem like her idea to give you her number. Like I said, getting a girl’s number doesn’t have to be hard.
#3 The “Trade Numbers” Number Close
A small change in the way you phrase a request can make a big difference in the response you receive. When you ask a girl if you can have her number, it makes it sound like she’d be doing you a favor by giving it to you.
On the other hand, “let’s trade numbers” sounds like a mutual exchange in which she is getting something of value in return. While the difference might seem trivial, it can significantly increase the likelihood of her responding positively.
Use the “trade numbers” close when the conversation is going well and she seems comfortable with you. Then, when she is smiling about something you’ve said, say something like this:
You: Hey, before I forget, let’s trade numbers. Have one of these? [Show her your phone]
Her: Of course. It’s xxx.xxx.xxxx.
You: Hold on a sec, let me get in here. Okay, fire away.
#4 Ask for the Date First
Just because a girl gives you her number, it’s no guarantee that she’ll she’ll pick up when you call or respond to your messages, let alone go on a date with you. However, if you ask her out on a date right away and she agrees, you have an excellent reason to ask for her number. This way you get both the date and the number.
To ask for the date first, try this:
Listen, I’ve got to run, but I enjoyed meeting you and I’d like to continue our conversation. How about we catch up for a drink after work next week?
If she’s keen on the idea, you can ask her what her schedule is like and then once you’ve set the date up, you simply say:
Okay, let me take your number in case something comes up.
Or you could finalize the details of the date by messaging or calling her:
Okay, let me take your number so we can co-ordinate.
For best results, propose a semi-specific time for the date. For example, “after work next week” shows more interest, confidence and decisiveness than just saying “sometime.” On the other hand, if you’re too specific she may turn you down, not because she doesn’t like you, but because she already has plans on the day you propose.
It helps if you can get a feeling for the kind of things she enjoys doing. You’ll feel more confident leading into a number close if you’re inviting her to do something that she’s already expressed an interest in. Check out this post on how to get a girl’s number for an example of this.
This is a “quality over quantity” approach to getting a girl’s number. By asking for a date first you’ll get less numbers overall, but you’ll save a lot of wasted time and energy with women who give you the run around. The numbers you get will be more valuable because the girls have already verbally committed to a date, and the date is what you really want, right?
#5 The “Kick Myself” Direct Number Close
The “kick myself” number close is a bold technique with limitations. This direct approach prioritizes getting her phone number as quickly as possible over building rapport, so expect a higher rejection rate and flakeage. That said, you’d be surprised how effective this can be in getting a beautiful stranger to give you her number.
You: Excuse me, I saw you from back there and I just had to come over and tell you that you’re stunning! I’m Tyler.
Her: [Surprised] Thank you — I’m Alisa.
You: Alisa, great to meet you. Listen, I’m in a huge hurry right now, and I really can’t stop and chat, but I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t come over and say “hi.” Look, I know it’s a little unusual, [pause, take out your phone] but I want you to give me your number and later this week I’ll give you a call and we can have a proper chat and get to know each other better. What’s your number?
Her: Hmm, okay — it’s xxx.xxx.xxxx.
You: Great. Wonderful meeting you Alisa. Have a good day and I’ll drop you a line later this week. I’m off!
This number close takes guts, so don’t worry if your confidence isn’t up to the task just yet. However, if you’re willing to jump in at the deep end, using direct game is a great way to tackle your fear of cold approaching head on.
Don’t underestimate how much women value a man who is willing to take a chance and go after what he wants. Done with confidence, you’d be surprised just how many girls will give you their number. Whoever said flattery will get you nowhere was lying to you.
If she doesn’t give you her number, you needn’t feel bad. The chances of her turning you down with this approach will be higher because you haven’t taken the time to establish rapport and gain her trust.
Another caveat here is that if she does give you her number, it’s best to call her rather than text her. Since you didn’t establish an emotional connection when you met her, you’ll need to make up for this on the phone before she’ll agree to meet up with you on a date.
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#6 The Text Number Close
This is a sneaky, but effective way to get a girl’s number. Asking if you can text her is less intrusive than asking if you can call her. You’ll still get the number, but using the word “text” will make it easier for her to agree.
The best way to do this is to have a reason to text her. During the conversation, ask her what she’s doing later that day. Then you show some interest and say:
Hey, I’ve always wanted to go there/do that, could you do me a small favor? (Most women will say yes.) Text me and let me know how it was. You can just say like: “it was cool” or “it sucked.” Here, I’ll send you a text so all you have to do is respond. What’s you number?
When she texts you later in the day, then you can start up a rapport building text message conversation that leads to a phone call and, with some luck, a date.
#7 The Indirect Number Close
Smart phones make it easy to share fun and interesting stuff that you find online with other people. This number close takes advantage of this by getting into a conversation about something you’ve seen online.
If she finds the topic interesting, tell her to give you her number so you can send her a link the website or video. When you send it to her, ask her text you back telling you what she thinks.
Depending on how engaging your conversation was, you might be able to turn this into something. Bare in mind that it’s a lot easier to ask a girl on a date if you make your intentions clear from the start. This indirect approach needs to be followed up with strong text game.
#8 The Comedian’s Number Close
Attractive women get asked for their number a lot, so one way to stand out from the other guys is to add some humor to your number close like this:
You: What kind of a phone do you have?
You: Because I want your number.
Another fun way to ask for her number is to say something like this:
What’s your number? I’ll text you like 40 times a day.
When you say this, make sure you hold direct eye contact with her and then smile slightly to let her know that you’re pulling her leg. Joking about a fear she probably has when giving out her number is amusing and at the same time can make you come across as understanding and trustworthy.
#9 The Teasing Number Close
If you’ve hit it off really well with a girl and there has been a lot of playful teasing going on. You could finish with a teasing number close like this:
Hey, we should catch up for a meal or a drink sometime. Give me your number. Unless you’re homeless and you don’t own a phone, then just give me the number at your shelter.
Teasing can be a great way to build attraction because it demonstrates a lot of confidence. It can be a little risky though, so it’s probably best to get comfortable asking a girl for her number using one of the other techniques first, before trying to tease it out of her.
I hope these number close ideas give you the boost of confidence you need to take action. Use the number closes that you feel most comfortable with and best match your personality.
Also, be sure to check out my post about getting a girls number for tips on how to avoid common mistakes guys make when asking a girl for her digits. And, if that’s not enough for you, here’s an authoritative insight into the psychology of asking a girl for her number.
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