9 Good Ways to Ask a Girl for Her Number

How to Ask a Girl for Her Number

How to Ask a Girl for Her Number

Still strug­gling to ask for her phone number?

Ask­ing for a girl’s phone num­ber allows you to test her inter­est, build a stronger con­nec­tion and poten­tially set up a date. It’s an impor­tant step in the dat­ing process, but that doesn’t mean it has to be hard.

In this post I’m going to share more great ways to get a girl’s num­ber, but you don’t have to mem­o­rize all of these tech­niques. A few reli­able num­ber closes should be more than enough to han­dle most sit­u­a­tions. With this in mind, let’s start by tak­ing a look at the stan­dard num­ber close. 

#1 The Stan­dard “No Ask” Num­ber Close

Use this stan­dard num­ber close with a girl you’ve just met, but estab­lished some rap­port with.

Lis­ten, I’m in a bit of a hurry right now, my friends are expect­ing me. But I’d like to con­tinue our conversation.

As you say this, hand her your phone. She’ll instinc­tively know what to do and if you’re con­fi­dent and deci­sive, she’ll do it. You can also prompt her with some­thing like:

Punch your num­ber in there. 

By hand­ing her your phone, not only will she be more likely to give you her num­ber, but it also sub­con­sciously com­mu­ni­cates that you trust her, which will make her trust you more. 

Prob­a­bly the best thing about this num­ber close is that you don’t actu­ally use the dreaded cliche, “Can I have your num­ber?” These words can set off a neg­a­tive trig­ger in a girl’s mind because they’ve been so overused by guys who she prob­a­bly wasn’t inter­ested in. 

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#2 The “What’s the Best Way to Keep in Touch” Close

Ask­ing for a girl’s num­ber can be as easy or as com­pli­cated as you make it. One of the most effec­tive ways to keep in touch with a girl is sim­ply to ask her what the best way to keep in touch with her is. This tech­nique is so obvi­ous, but it’s often overlooked.

You: Lis­ten, I need to get going and meet my friends. What’s the best way to keep in touch with you?

Her: You can take my number/add me on Facebook/email me.

This is a very nat­ural sound­ing way to end an enjoy­able con­ver­sa­tion. Best of all, it almost makes it seem like her idea to give you her number. Like I said, get­ting a girl’s num­ber doesn’t have to be hard. 

#3 The “Trade Num­bers” Num­ber Close

A small change in the way you phrase a request can make a big dif­fer­ence in the response you receive. When you ask a girl if you can have her num­ber, it makes it sound like she’d be doing you a favor by giv­ing it to you.

On the other hand, “let’s trade num­bers” sounds like a mutual exchange in which she is get­ting some­thing of value in return. While the dif­fer­ence might seem triv­ial, it can sig­nif­i­cantly increase the like­li­hood of her respond­ing positively. 

Use the “trade num­bers” close when the con­ver­sa­tion is going well and she seems com­fort­able with you. Then, when she is smil­ing about some­thing you’ve said, say some­thing like this:

You: Hey, before I for­get, let’s trade num­bers. Have one of these? [Show her your phone] 

Her: Of course. It’s xxx.xxx.xxxx.

You: Hold on a sec, let me get in here. Okay, fire away. 

#4 Ask for the Date First

Just because a girl gives you her num­ber, it’s no guar­an­tee that she’ll she’ll pick up when you call or respond to your mes­sages, let alone go on a date with you. How­ever, if you ask her out on a date right away and she agrees, you have an excel­lent rea­son to ask for her num­ber. This way you get both the date and the number.

To ask for the date first, try this:

Lis­ten, I’ve got to run, but I enjoyed meet­ing you and I’d like to con­tinue our con­ver­sa­tion. How about we catch up for a drink after work next week? 

If she’s keen on the idea, you can ask her what her sched­ule is like and then once you’ve set the date up, you sim­ply say:

Okay, let me take your num­ber in case some­thing comes up.

Or you could final­ize the details of the date by mes­sag­ing or call­ing her: 

Okay, let me take your num­ber so we can co-ordinate. 

For best results, pro­pose a semi-specific time for the date. For exam­ple, “after work next week” shows more inter­est, con­fi­dence and deci­sive­ness than just say­ing “some­time.” On the other hand, if you’re too spe­cific she may turn you down, not because she doesn’t like you, but because she already has plans on the day you propose. 

It helps if you can get a feel­ing for the kind of things she enjoys doing. You’ll feel more con­fi­dent lead­ing into a num­ber close if you’re invit­ing her to do some­thing that she’s already expressed an inter­est in. Check out this post on how to get a girl’s num­ber for an exam­ple of this.

This is a “qual­ity over quan­tity” approach to get­ting a girl’s num­ber. By ask­ing for a date first you’ll get less num­bers over­all, but you’ll save a lot of wasted time and energy with women who give you the run around. The num­bers you get will be more valu­able because the girls have already ver­bally com­mit­ted to a date, and the date is what you really want, right?

#5 The “Kick Myself” Direct Num­ber Close

The “kick myself” num­ber close is a bold tech­nique with lim­i­ta­tions. This direct approach pri­or­i­tizes get­ting her phone num­ber as quickly as pos­si­ble over build­ing rap­port, so expect a higher rejec­tion rate and flakeage. That said, you’d be sur­prised how effec­tive this can be in get­ting a beau­ti­ful stranger to give you her number.

You: Excuse me, I saw you from back there and I just had to come over and tell you that you’re stun­ning! I’m Tyler.  

Her: [Sur­prised] Thank you — I’m Alisa. 

You: Alisa, great to meet you. Listen, I’m in a huge hurry right now, and I really can’t stop and chat, but I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t come over and say “hi.” Look, I know it’s a lit­tle unusual, [pause, take out your phone] but I want you to give me your num­ber and later this week I’ll give you a call and we can have a proper chat and get to know each other bet­ter. What’s your number?

Her: Hmm, okay — it’s xxx.xxx.xxxx.

You: Great. Won­der­ful meet­ing you Alisa. Have a good day and I’ll drop you a line later this week. I’m off!

Her: Good­bye. 

This num­ber close takes guts, so don’t worry if your con­fi­dence isn’t up to the task just yet. How­ever, if you’re will­ing to jump in at the deep end, using direct game is a great way to tackle your fear of cold approach­ing head on. 

Don’t under­es­ti­mate how much women value a man who is will­ing to take a chance and go after what he wants. Done with con­fi­dence, you’d be sur­prised just how many girls will give you their number. Whoever said flat­tery will get you nowhere was lying to you.

If she doesn’t give you her num­ber, you needn’t feel bad. The chances of her turn­ing you down with this approach will be higher because you haven’t taken the time to estab­lish rap­port and gain her trust.   

Another caveat here is that if she does give you her num­ber, it’s best to call her rather than text her. Since you didn’t estab­lish an emo­tional con­nec­tion when you met her, you’ll need to make up for this on the phone before she’ll agree to meet up with you on a date.

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#6 The Text Num­ber Close

This is a sneaky, but effec­tive way to get a girl’s num­ber. Ask­ing if you can text her is less intru­sive than ask­ing if you can call her. You’ll still get the num­ber, but using the word “text” will make it eas­ier for her to agree. 

The best way to do this is to have a rea­son to text her. Dur­ing the con­ver­sa­tion, ask her what she’s doing later that day. Then you show some inter­est and say:

Hey, I’ve always wanted to go there/do that, could you do me a small favor? (Most women will say yes.) Text me and let me know how it was. You can just say like: “it was cool” or “it sucked.” Here, I’ll send you a text so all you have to do is respond. What’s you number?

When she texts you later in the day, then you can start up a rap­port build­ing text mes­sage con­ver­sa­tion that leads to a phone call and, with some luck, a date.

#7 The Indi­rect Num­ber Close

Smart phones make it easy to share fun and inter­est­ing stuff that you find online with other people. This num­ber close takes advan­tage of this by get­ting into a con­ver­sa­tion about some­thing you’ve seen online.

If she finds the topic inter­est­ing, tell her to give you her num­ber so you can send her a link the web­site or video. When you send it to her, ask her text you back telling you what she thinks.

Depend­ing on how engag­ing your con­ver­sa­tion was, you might be able to turn this into some­thing. Bare in mind that it’s a lot eas­ier to ask a girl on a date if you make your inten­tions clear from the start. This indi­rect approach needs to be fol­lowed up with strong text game.

#8 The Comedian’s Num­ber Close

Attrac­tive women get asked for their num­ber a lot, so one way to stand out from the other guys is to add some humor to your num­ber close like this:

You: What kind of a phone do you have? 

Her: Why? 

You: Because I want your number.

Another fun way to ask for her num­ber is to say some­thing like this: 

What’s your num­ber? I’ll text you like 40 times a day. 

When you say this, make sure you hold direct eye con­tact with her and then smile slightly to let her know that you’re pulling her leg. Jok­ing about a fear she prob­a­bly has when giv­ing out her num­ber is amus­ing and at the same time can make you come across as under­stand­ing and trustworthy. 

#9 The Teas­ing Num­ber Close

If you’ve hit it off really well with a girl and there has been a lot of play­ful teas­ing going on. You could fin­ish with a teas­ing num­ber close like this: 

Hey, we should catch up for a meal or a drink some­time. Give me your num­ber. Unless you’re home­less and you don’t own a phone, then just give me the num­ber at your shelter. 

Teas­ing can be a great way to build attrac­tion because it demon­strates a lot of con­fi­dence. It can be a lit­tle risky though, so it’s prob­a­bly best to get com­fort­able ask­ing a girl for her num­ber using one of the other tech­niques first, before try­ing to tease it out of her. 

Clos­ing Thoughts 

I hope these num­ber close ideas give you the boost of con­fi­dence you need to take action. Use the num­ber closes that you feel most com­fort­able with and best match your personality. 

Also, be sure to check out my post about get­ting a girls num­ber for tips on how to avoid com­mon mis­takes guys make when ask­ing a girl for her dig­its. And, if that’s not enough for you, here’s an author­i­ta­tive insight into the psy­chol­ogy of ask­ing a girl for her num­ber.  

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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