Have you ever had the magic just die in an interaction with a woman?
You know, one moment it seems like she’s interested, then suddenly you are left wondering what happened. You try so hard to get her interest back, but it’s almost as if you crossed some magic line and you can’t cross back. Then she’s either not returning your calls or you get the, “I think I’d just like to be friends.”
Ahhh!! What happened, and how can you stop it from happening? Well, before we get into practical strategies for keeping a woman’s attention, let’s make sure you’re not making one of these classic dating mistakes men make with women.
Dating Mistake 1: Trying to Impress a Woman
If you’re wondering how trying to be interesting could possibly ruin your chances with a woman, then you’ve probably been making this dating mistake. So, what’s the problem with trying to be interesting? It’s usually one of two things:
The first possibility is that you are talking about yourself more than you are listening to her, which is a major turnoff for anyone. A need to be heard and acknowledged is one of the primary emotional needs for every human being.
Just think how frustrating it is when you are with someone and they only talk about themselves. If you really want to “impress” a woman, focus on being interested in her instead of interesting to her.
Focus on being interested in her instead of interesting to her.
Teachers often tell pupils they have two ears and only one mouth and they should use them in that proportion. This advice also applies to making conversation. If you’re not listening to what the other person is saying, you won’t know how to respond or where to move the conversation next.
By demonstrating interest in the other person, you present yourself to them as an engaging, thoughtful, and more enjoyable person to talk to. That makes you more interesting to them and makes them want to find out more about you.
The second possibility is that you are trying to impress her with things like possessions, income or accomplishments. This is a common mistake men make with women. To a man these things might be impressive (and to some women too), but most quality women are more interested in relationships, connections and personality than they are in your wealth and possessions.
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Dating Mistake 2: Agreeing With Everything She Says
Many guys think that a woman is looking for a man who agrees with her on everything and likes all the same things that she does. Do you avoid disagreeing with a woman because of this, or do you try to find out how she feels about something before you speak up? This is a very common dating mistake guys make with girls.
If this sounds like you, I can bet you’ve had a lot of relationships end after just a few dates. In addition to a person’s need to be heard and understood, people need variety and excitement in their lives.
If a woman finds that you are agreeing with her on everything, she’s probably going to get bored very fast. Not only that, after a while she is going to realize that you are counting on her to lead the interaction, which is the last thing a woman wants from a man.
If you disagree with something a woman says or if you have an interest that’s different from hers, don’t be afraid to tell her.
This does not mean that you have to argue or provoke debate with her, that’s very unattractive for most women. But if you disagree with something a woman says or if you have an interest that’s different from hers, don’t be afraid to tell her. This will show her that you are an independent man who is capable of making his own decisions, which is what most women want in a man.
Dating Mistake 3: Being Too Available
Are you the kind of guy who picks up the phone every time that a woman calls no matter how busy you are? Do you sometimes agree to go out with her even when you have other things to do? If so, you’re making the fatal and common dating mistake of being too available to her.
Now don’t get me wrong on this, I’m not saying that you play juvenile relationship games like “hard to get.” But it’s important that you have your own life and that you don’t completely rearrange it around a woman.
Think about it this way, are you willing to rearrange your entire life around her for the rest of your life? If not, you are only setting her up for disappointment on the day when you finally decide to start living your own life again. Not only that, being too available to a woman lowers your social value because it shows that you don’t have anything else in your life but her.
Being too available to a woman lowers your social value because it shows that you don’t have anything else in your life but her.
How could this possibly be a mistake in a relationship? It’s bad because it tells her that you are either one of two types of men. She’ll think that you’re either a loser with no life, or a codependent and obsessive type who is going to smother her with neediness. Not good, but unfortunately this is a very common mistake men make in relationships.
So if she calls while you are busy let her leave a voice mail, or pick up and ask her if you can call her back. And don’t make a habit of re-arranging your schedule just to fit her into it. This will let her know that you are a real person with a life and that you aren’t simply looking to club her over the head and drag her into your private dungeon.
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Dating Mistake 4: Overdoing It On The First Dates
Okay guys, this is a really big deal. A really, REALLY big deal. Are you one of those guys who goes all out on the first date with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant and who spends a lot of money on her the first time you meet? Are you showering her with gifts and attention before you’ve even been on the fourth date? If so, stop immediately!
Not only is it costing you money, it’s also costing you a whole lot of disappointment and heartache. Again, you might be wondering how it can possibly be a dating mistake to go overboard for a woman you are really interested in. So let’s just break this down logically for a moment.
First, if you are going all out on the first date, you need to ask yourself why you are spending so much money on someone you might never see again. Seriously, how many times have you kicked yourself for spending $50 or more on the first date, only to find that there was not going to be a second one?
Also, overdoing it on the first date, or even the second or third, is another demonstration that you’re a man of low social value. Think about it, if you have to go out of your way to spend a lot of money to impress a woman, what does that say about your personality? Stop making this common dating mistake and you’ll not only save money, but you’ll also be more attractive to women.
If you have to go out of your way to spend a lot of money to impress a woman, what does that say about your personality?
Not only that, don’t you think that she is wondering why a man would go to such lengths on a first date? Sure, if she’s really naive she might be saying: “Wow, how flattering. He REALLY likes me!”
But any woman with half a brain knows it takes more than just a few dates to find out who someone really is. So if you’re overdoing it on the first few dates, you’re either telling her that you’re not being sincere or that you aren’t interested in her for who she really is.
Dating Mistake 5: Waiting For Her To Show Interest
Are you one of those guys who waits to see if a woman is interested before you show interest in her? This is another very common dating mistake guys make with girls. If you’re interested in her just go for it and let her deal with how she feels about you. Believe me, she will let you know if you are clear about your intentions.
Most women are looking for a man who can lead the interaction and who is willing to risk a little rejection to go after what he wants.
The problems arise when you over analyze every little move she makes and hold your cards close to your chest until you find out that you have a winning hand. Again, most women are looking for a man who can lead the interaction and who is willing to risk a little rejection to go after what he wants.
If you’re attracted to a woman, don’t make the mistake of waiting for her to show interest in you. You’re simply telling her that you’re unsure of yourself or she may simply assume that you’re not into her and become interested in someone else. Either way, you’ll mess up your chances with her by playing it cool.
Girls talk candidly about some of the mistakes men make with women:
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