Powerful Flirting Tips for Guys

Ways to Flirt With Women

Flirt­ing tips and tech­niques for guys

Flirt­ing and cre­at­ing sex­ual chem­istry is a skill that few men ever mas­ter, which is a real shame con­sid­er­ing how much women love a man who can flirt.

Flirt­ing is about express­ing your sex­u­al­ity to women, sub­tly or overtly, but always in a con­fi­dent and non-needy way to increase a woman’s attrac­tion to you.

If you want to learn how to flirt with women and you’re tired of the same old flirt­ing tips for guys like make eye con­tact, smile, com­pli­ment her… blah, blah, blah… then these flirt­ing tips for guys will be a wel­come breath of fresh air.

Avoid Hair­dresser Conversation 

Unfor­tu­nately what many guys con­sider to be flirt­ing can be best described as hair­dresser con­ver­sa­tion. This is when guys bom­bard girls with tired ques­tions that do noth­ing to express sex­u­al­ity like “What is your name?” “Where are you from?” “What do you do for a liv­ing?” etc.

The key to flirt­ing suc­cess­fully is under­stand­ing that women are attracted to men who make them feel safe, secure and excited at the same time. Hair­dresser con­ver­sa­tion is bor­ing and does noth­ing to demon­strate the high-status behav­ioral traits that women are look­ing for in a man or set you apart from all the other guys she meets.

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No More Mr. Nice Guy

Another huge flirt­ing mis­take, espe­cially com­mon among shy guys who are too ner­vous to demon­strate sex­ual inter­est, is sim­ply being “nice” to women in the hope that you’ll be rewarded sex­u­ally for kind words, thought­ful­ness and agree­abil­ity. Guys who take this approach try to win the affec­tion of women by doing favors, offer­ing emo­tional sup­port and being espe­cially con­sid­er­ate and non-confrontational. 

While it’s a good way to make female friends who enjoy hav­ing their ego stroked and being treated like princesses, it sure won’t get you laid. (If this sounds like you, then check out my arti­cle on avoid­ing the Friend Zone, because that’s where you’ll be heading.) 

The sad irony is that nice guys are so wor­ried about not mak­ing a bad impres­sion that the play it too safe and end up mak­ing a bland, for­get­table and replace­able impres­sion, which when it comes to attrac­tion is prob­a­bly the worst impres­sion of all.   

Nice guys make the mis­take of think­ing that they can some­how sneak in “under the radar” with­out putting sex­ual pres­sure on a girl. They fail to real­ize that women actu­ally want a man who is com­fort­able express­ing his sex­u­al­ity. In fact, nice guys risk being labelled “manip­u­la­tive” or “spine­less” for not mak­ing their real inten­tions clear. 

Don’t for­get that women instinc­tively want a man who can pro­tect her. How safe would you feel around some­one who ran around doing every­thing you wanted of them? Nice guy sub­mis­sive and non-assertive behav­ior leads women to assume that if you can’t stand up for your­self, what are the chances of you tak­ing a stand for her. 

Let the words “No More Mr. Nice Guy” carry you for­ward from this point on as it could be among the most vital of all flirt­ing tips you hear.

Tease Her When She “Tests” You

Okay, so now that you know how bor­ing it is for a woman when you act pre­dictably by doing the things she wants, you might be won­der­ing then why women try to con­trol men. The stan­dard answer here is that she is test­ing you to see whether you will be assertive or fold. Most men will fail these tests and reserve them­selves a seat in the Friend Zone, but not you! 

It’s easy to tell when a woman is test­ing you by the unrea­son­able nature of her request. The best way to “pass” these tests is to tease her in a play­ful way for being silly or dif­fi­cult. Some­thing like “You think you’re Paris Hilton or some­thing?” or “You’re like my bratty lit­tle sis­ter” work well. Doing this auto­mat­i­cally puts you head and shoul­ders above 90% of the male pop­u­la­tion who are too afraid to make a stand in case they offend her. 

Teas­ing brings excite­ment into your inter­ac­tion with women and makes you appear con­fi­dent and high-status by putting her straight in a fun way when she steps out of line. 

For exam­ple you could also say, “You know if you weren’t so cute, I’d ditch you for say­ing that.” Notice how you’re able to pay a com­pli­ment that expresses your sex­ual inter­est in her with­out it com­ing across as needy because it’s pack­aged in a light­hearted tease.  

Teas­ing is a very quick and easy way to gen­er­ate attrac­tion and can be pulled off suc­cess­fully with a smile or a poker face. Often drop­ping even one tease into an oth­er­wise nor­mal and bor­ing con­ver­sa­tion will spark attrac­tion and inter­est from a woman. You can tease girls about all sorts of things, includ­ing: a cute man­ner­ism, her inde­ci­sive­ness, her fish­ing for com­pli­ments, her girly con­ver­sa­tion top­ics etc.

For exam­ple, if an attrac­tive girl asks if her jeans make her bum look fat, instead of the pre­dictable nice guy response, you could build attrac­tion by respond­ing in an out­raged tone, “You’re talk­ing about phys­i­cal flaws already? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know that if we’re ever going to get this rela­tion­ship off the ground, you need to be mys­te­ri­ous and seductive?”

Make Assump­tions and Funny Guesses

One great way to spark engag­ing, fun and per­sonal con­ver­sa­tion that’s over­looked by most guys, is to take guesses about her instead of ask­ing ques­tions directly. So instead of ask­ing where she’s from, tell her that she looks half Ger­man or that she looks like a naughty Cal­i­forn­ian girl.  

This is fun for women because even if your guesses are way off the mark, girls love know­ing the impres­sion that they make on peo­ple and it opens a lot of oppor­tu­nity for per­sonal con­ver­sa­tion. Also if you do hap­pen to guess right, she’ll be impressed by your insightfulness.  

An unlikely assump­tion is just as fun, so if you see a girl sit­ting on her own in Star­bucks how about say­ing some­thing like this, “Okay so you’re wait­ing to meet a guy called Barry, who you met online. You don’t really know what he looks like, but he’ll wear a bright pink shirt and match­ing socks.” 

This is a sur­pris­ing, fun and non-threatening way to start a con­ver­sa­tion with a girl. She’ll most likely laugh and then tell you what she’s really up to, or even bet­ter she’ll play along and the two of you will enjoy a fun and flirty con­ver­sa­tion together. It might sound silly, but mak­ing assump­tions is a great way to get a girl smil­ing and demon­strate that you’re a dar­ing, dif­fer­ent and fun kind of guy.   

So the next time you feel tempted to ask a girl a ques­tion, try guess­ing the answer instead or just make up your own imag­i­nary sce­nario about why she’s in town, what she does for a liv­ing, where she knows her friend from etc. (You’ll prob­a­bly also enjoy this arti­cle about flir­ta­tious and funny con­ver­sa­tion starters.) 

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Cre­ate an Emo­tional Connection 

As you know mak­ing fun con­ver­sa­tion is a great way to flirt with a girl, but if you want things to get sex­ual, then at some stage you’ll need to cre­ate an emo­tional con­nec­tion. To do this you’re advised to avoid con­tro­ver­sial, bor­ing or depress­ing top­ics like reli­gion, pol­i­tics, vio­lence, bad past rela­tion­ships and other neg­a­tive stuff. 

Instead talk about pos­i­tive things that evoke feel­ing and excite­ment. Find out her pas­sions and inter­ests, her dreams and goals, the best things that have hap­pened to her or her child­hood mem­o­ries and con­nect with her on these things. Here are a few ques­tions you could try cour­tesy of Richard La Ruina’s great book The Natural:

  • What tal­ents do you have that would sur­prise me? (To dis­cover her pas­sions and hid­den talents.)
  • If  you could wake up tomor­row any­where in the world, where would it be? (An inter­est­ing way of find­ing out if she’s adven­tur­ous and shares your inter­est in travel.)
  • What is the one thing you can’t say no to? (A fun ques­tion to dis­cover her vices and biggest temp­ta­tions in life.)
  • What was it like grow­ing up in (her home town or coun­try)? (You’ll learn inter­est­ing things about her back­ground and get to know her better.)
  • Do you remem­ber your first day at school? (This can lead to the two of you exchang­ing lots of other stories.)

While women love a man with a great sense of humor, they also want a man with some depth and who can make inter­est­ing con­ver­sa­tion. Ques­tions like these will allow you to have deeper con­ver­sa­tions and find out more about her as a per­son, while mak­ing her feel under­stood, unique and special.

Remem­ber that women enjoy sex as much as men do, but they’re under a lot of social pres­sure to avoid being labeled easy or slutty. Whether a girl decides to sleep with you or not has less to do with the num­ber of hours or dates spent together than it does about how con­vinced she is that you really like her or care about her. 

This is why estab­lish­ing an emo­tional con­nec­tion is so impor­tant because it lets her know that you see her as more than purely a sex­ual exploit. And when do sleep together, you can expect the sex to be that much better.    

Chal­lenge Her and Be Selective

Beau­ti­ful women are used to get­ting their way with men and hav­ing the power of choice. A great flirt­ing tip that turns the table on attrac­tive girls is to issue them with chal­lenges in order to win your affections. This demon­strates high sta­tus because it shows that you’re selec­tive and look­ing for some­one with more than just good looks. 

Say­ing some­thing like “If every­one looked the same, how would you stand out?” tells her that you’re not eas­ily impressed by looks alone, it sug­gests that you’re picky when it comes to your taste in women and estab­lishes you as the selec­tor. You could go even fur­ther by ask­ing if she’s rich or whether she can cook.   

In the same way, say­ing “I’m not sure a young girl like you would know how to sat­isfy a mature man like me” issues her with a chal­lenge that will make her feel com­pelled to prove her value by qual­i­fy­ing her­self to you. 

Don’t be afraid to chal­lenge women by ques­tion­ing their suit­abil­ity for you because it’ll make you stand out from the all the other guys who are happy to be pas­sively selected. Chal­leng­ing women uses play­ful reverse psy­chol­ogy and is a very pow­er­ful flirt­ing technique. 

Clos­ing Thoughts

I hope you found these flirt­ing tips help­ful and they’ve given you some new ideas of ways to flirt with a girl. Use these flirt­ing tech­niques the next time you’re out and you’ll be amazed at the dif­fer­ence they can make to your dat­ing life. To gauge your flirt­ing suc­cess and to know when to go in for the kiss, you might find this arti­cle help­ful on signs a girl likes you

Remem­ber that if you want to be inti­mate with a woman, then at some stage you have to stick your neck out and express your sex­ual interest. While these are very pow­er­ful flirt­ing tips, at the end of the day the way you flirt is less impor­tant than the fact that you actu­ally do it. Flirt­ing is a social behav­ior that you’ll only get good at with practice. So get out there and get your flirt on! 

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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