How to Turn a Girl On With Sexual Escalation

How to Sexually Escalate With a Girl

How to Sex­u­ally Esca­late to Turn a Girl On

Are you tired of dates end­ing with a hug or a peck on the cheek, when what you really want is to get her back to your place and into your bed?

Sex­ual ten­sion is key to turn­ing a woman on and your job as the man to cre­ate and main­tain that ten­sion. Most guys don’t know how to sex­u­ally esca­late, instead they get girls drunk and hope for the best.

If you’re tired of leav­ing your roman­tic life to chance and want con­sis­tent suc­cess with sexy women, then fol­low these sex­ual esca­la­tion tips to quickly turn a girl on.

Main­tain a Sex­ual Undercurrent

Cre­ate a sex­ual under­cur­rent in your inter­ac­tions with women as early as pos­si­ble. Remem­ber that sex­ual innu­endo and fore­play is much more impor­tant to women than men, so the ear­lier you start being sug­ges­tive, the more sex­ual antic­i­pa­tion you’ll cre­ate and the more turned on she’ll be.

Both your words and actions should com­mu­ni­cate that you’re a sex­ual crea­ture. This way women know that if they choose to con­tinue to inter­act with you, the inter­ac­tion will lead in a sex­ual direc­tion. Being clear about your inten­tions and desires not only saves you time and energy, it also makes you more sex­u­ally attrac­tive to women.

Sex Up Bor­ing Conversation

Do you talk about sex or make jokes of a sex­ual nature? If you never plant sex­ual thoughts in her mind, you can’t expect to make the rela­tion­ship sex­ual. Inject sex­ual energy into con­ver­sa­tion by talk­ing openly about sex, or mak­ing com­ments charged with sex­ual innuendo. 

Here are some examples:

  • If you find your­self doing her a favor, tell her “So you’re using me already — next thing I know you’ll be try­ing to use me for other things as well.”
  • If you find out that she is from Brazil, you can say to her, “Hmm… you know what they say about Brazil­ian women, don’t you?” Then let your smirk and solid eye con­tact sug­gest that you know Brazil­ian women have a large sex­ual appetite.
  • If you’ve met with her a few times already, and she insists on pay­ing the bill this time, you can throw in a role rever­sal line like: “Well okay then. But don’t think that pay­ing will let you have your way with me later!”
  • If she tells says you’re good at some­thing with a com­ment like, “Wow, you’re good at that.” Look her squarely in the eyes and say, “I’m good at a lot of things” imply­ing that you’re a stud in the bedroom.
  • You could also pro­voke a sex­ual con­ver­sa­tion by ask­ing her if it’s true that women equate sex­ual prowess with a man’s abil­ity on the dance floor, or whether blonde girls really do have more fun. 

The point here is don’t be afraid to bring up the sub­ject of sex. Talk­ing openly about sex demon­strates that you’re com­fort­able with your sex­u­al­ity and will help her to think of your rela­tion­ship in a sex­ual way.

You can accom­plish this with­out being offen­sive or crude. Remem­ber that sex should not be the only sub­ject of dis­cus­sion. You still need to gen­er­ate rap­port and estab­lish an emo­tional con­nec­tion with strong body lan­guage and con­ver­sa­tion skills

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Don’t Sup­port the Dou­ble Standard

A lot of guys don’t real­ize that soci­ety places a lot of pres­sure on women that pre­vents them from being overly sex­ual because they’re wor­ried about being labelled a slut. On the other hand, if a man sleeps with a lot of women, he’s hailed as a stud.

If your date ever makes a com­ment about how slutty another girl looks or behaves, it’s a great oppor­tu­nity for you to demon­strate that you don’t sup­port the dou­ble standard.

Tell her that you admire so-called “sluts” for being sex­u­ally lib­er­ated despite the social pres­sure on women to sup­press their sex­u­al­ity. Your reac­tion will sur­prise her at first, but it will go a long way in help­ing her feel com­fort­able express­ing her sex­u­al­ity with you and let­ting you know when she’s feel­ing turned on.

Spend Time Together Alone

If you’re not already out on a date with her, you’ll need to iso­late her in order to build sex­ual ten­sion and turn her on with­out dis­trac­tion. Remem­ber that women love good sex as much as men do, but they’re very wor­ried about appear­ing too easy, espe­cially in front of their friends. 

Help her to be more sex­u­ally lib­er­ated by lead­ing her away from her friends, so the two of you can spend some qual­ity time together. Take her some­where quiet where the two of you can have a nice con­ver­sa­tion with­out too much dis­trac­tion. You could say some­thing like, “Hey, it’s really loud here. Let’s go some­where more com­fort­able to talk.”  

Speak With a Sexy Voice

The sound of your voice is more impor­tant in turn­ing a girl on, than what you actu­ally say. If you talk in a high-pitched nasal whine, you’ll have a hard time attract­ing women.

Unfor­tu­nately ner­vous­ness often results in guys tak­ing shal­lower breaths and talk­ing faster than usual, which makes your voice sound sound higher pitched.

One sim­ple solu­tion to com­mon vocal prob­lems is to take a deep breathe from the diaphragm before speak­ing. This helps you to talk with­out run­ning out of breath, gives you a chance to gather your thoughts, and to mod­er­ate your pitch and speed.

When you want to be more seduc­tive you need to slow down, pause between words and main­tain strong eye con­tact. Think James Bond and you should be fine, or for more help­ful vocal tips, check out my post on How to Attract Women With Your Voice.

Okay, so we’ve cov­ered the ver­bal side of esca­la­tion, so let’s take a look now at the phys­i­cal side of things, oth­er­wise known as kino escalation.

How to Turn a Girl On With Touch

Dif­fer­ent amounts of touch­ing are appro­pri­ate in dif­fer­ent sit­u­a­tions, but remem­ber that the ear­lier you touch a woman the eas­ier it’ll be to sex­u­ally esca­late later on. Start with harm­less touches and gauge her reac­tion before increas­ing the inti­macy of your touches.

Even a sim­ple hand shake when you first meet accom­pa­nied by a smile and strong eye con­tact can help to get the ball rolling and makes it eas­ier to touch her later on.

Touch her lightly on the elbow or shoul­der when you share a laugh, or when you have some­thing inter­est­ing to tell her. As long as you don’t overdo it or break eye con­tact when you touch her, it’ll seem nat­ural and will help to build intimacy.

If you can get her com­fort­able and laugh­ing, she might even touch you back play­fully, which is a green light for you to con­tinue. These are harm­less ges­tures, but when com­bined with good con­ver­sa­tion they build attrac­tion. Just be sure to gauge her reac­tion before increas­ing the fre­quency or inti­macy of your touches.

Also remem­ber that women love a man who can lead the inter­ac­tion and make her feel safe and pro­tected. So if you’re leav­ing a venue place your hand on the small of her back and guide her in the direc­tion you want to go. Or if you’re out­side and it’s cold, rub both her hands in yours, or fling your jacket around her and hold her close to you.

If she is obvi­ously flirt­ing with you and the attrac­tion is clearly mutual, rub her thigh with your hand (if she is sit­ting next to you) or gen­tly stroke her upper arm. Also if a girl is com­fort­able for you to put your hand on her waist with­out pulling away, then she will usu­ally be com­fort­able with you going in for the kiss.

You can set your­self up for a kiss by look­ing her in the eyes, putting your hands around her waist and slowly pulling her towards you.

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Turn Her On With the Tri­an­gu­lar Gaze

This tech­nique helps to build sex­ual rap­port and set the tone for a kiss through sub-communication and body lan­guage. Use tri­an­gu­lar gaz­ing after you have shared a par­tic­u­larly good laugh or a “moment” where you feel a strong con­nec­tion with her.

Pic­ture an upside down tri­an­gle. Imag­ine that her eyes are two cor­ners of the tri­an­gle and her lips are the other cor­ner. Look into her left eye for 3 sec­onds then look into her right eye for 3 sec­onds, before look­ing down at her mouth for a few seconds.

Do this for a minute or two and she’ll under­stand that you want to kiss her. It helps set the mood so she is not caught unaware. In the sim­i­lar way, if you notice her look­ing at your mouth a lot, it’s prob­a­bly a sign that she’s turned on and wants to be kissed.

If she asks you why you keep look­ing at her lips, just tell her the truth and lean in for the kiss.    

Kiss Her Cheek Or Have Her Kiss Yours

Some guys have a hard time know­ing when to go in for the kiss. A kiss on the cheek can be a great way to test a woman’s desire for you. The first time you do this make sure that it’s close to her mouth. When you’re close, see what her reac­tion is.

Think­ing that you’re going to kiss her lips, does she move her head away to reject you or does she go in for a real kiss? If she moves away, just go straight in for sec­ond kiss mak­ing it obvi­ous that you were going for the cheek.

This prob­a­bly means that you’ll need to build more rap­port with her before try­ing again. On the other hand, if she seems to enjoy the kiss on the cheek or moves her mouth towards yours, it shows that she is def­i­nitely turned on and ready to take things further.

If you have a hard time know­ing when a girl likes you then check out this post about signs that a girl likes you so you feel more con­fi­dent going in for the kiss.

Another tech­nique you could try is to point to your own cheek, essen­tially ask­ing for a kiss from her. Ask­ing for a kiss on the cheek can be play­ful and is gen­er­ally fairly low-investment from her. So she’ll be more likely to kiss you and if she doesn’t want to, she’ll be less likely to be offended.

If she does kiss you, you can gauge by her kiss, how best to pro­ceed. If it’s a friendly kiss and she leaves her face close to you, or if it’s a more than friendly kiss, then it’s obvi­ously a good sign that she is open to be kissed.

Clos­ing Thoughts

Women enjoy sex as much as men do and it’s your job to make her feel com­fort­able express­ing her sex­u­al­ity with you. Remem­ber that women are actu­ally turned on by being desired, so don’t be shy about com­mu­ni­cat­ing your sex­ual inter­est early on.

Learn to read tell­tale signs that a girl is attracted to you and act on them with­out hes­i­ta­tion. Some indi­ca­tors include pro­longed gazes, returned touches, close phys­i­cal prox­im­ity and her ask­ing per­sonal ques­tions and giv­ing extended answers.

Drop sex­ual hints and spice up con­ver­sa­tion with sex­ual innu­endo and play­ful teas­ing. You can even be very direct with her at times and then just gauge her response and act on her feedback.

The more you sex­u­ally esca­late while out with a girl, the more turned on she’ll be by the end of the night and the more com­fort­able she’ll be with the idea of com­ing back to your place when you say, “Grab your jacket. Let’s get out of here!”


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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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