Does Online Dating Really Work?

Is online dating worth it?

Does online dat­ing work and is it worth it?

A lot of guys ask, “Does online dat­ing work?” and “Is online dat­ing worth it?” Despite it’s pop­u­lar­ity, online dat­ing is still a dar­ing step for guys used to more tra­di­tional ways of meet­ing women. But just because other ways of meet­ing women are more estab­lished, it doesn’t auto­mat­i­cally make them better.

Let’s com­pare online dat­ing with some com­mon places where guys meet girls to find out if online dat­ing is worth it…

Bars and Clubs

How many happy cou­ples do you know who met in a bar? Prob­a­bly sur­pris­ingly few. While you might get your tongue down the throat of a girl who has had a few too many drinks, your chances of meet­ing “the one” when you’re out on the town is not high.

Bars and clubs can be sur­pris­ingly inef­fi­cient places to meet girls con­sid­er­ing the time, energy and expense invested. Also the best bar hop­ping hap­pens late at night, which lim­its the num­ber of con­sec­u­tive days you can go out with­out becom­ing sleep deprived. Wak­ing up with a hang­over also means the day after is often wasted.

Stand­ing in a bar alone is uncom­fort­able so girls almost always go out in groups. This means that even if you pluck the nec­es­sary courage to approach a girl, it’s dif­fi­cult to engage in inti­mate con­ver­sa­tion with her away from her friends and the loud, dark and smoky atmos­phere doesn’t help. Social con­di­tion­ing is another sig­nif­i­cant hur­dle because girls are wor­ried about appear­ing “too easy” in front of their peers.

Of course there are a lot of girls out at bars and clubs, but the high­est qual­ity women don’t nec­es­sar­ily reg­u­larly hang out at crowded meat mar­kets, where they are con­stantly hit on by drunk guys with cheesy pick up lines.

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House Par­ties

The more famil­iar nature of house par­ties and being able to ask, “How do you know the host?” gives par­ties the edge over bars and clubs. Also if you like the host of the party, there is a good chance that you’ll gel well with his friends too.

The ques­tion though is how often are you invited out to par­ties? And even if you do go to a lot of par­ties, unless you’re very good look­ing, bold, or smooth, pick­ing some­one up in a few hours at a party is not always the eas­i­est thing to do. Also if you get a rep­u­ta­tion for hit­ting on all the girls at the party, you may spoil your chances of being invited again.


Do you have hot eye candy in the office? While an office affair sure can bring some excite­ment into the work­place and could even lead to a long term rela­tion­ship, break­ing up with a co-worker will ruin what min­i­mal enjoy­ment you may have pre­vi­ously had on the job. Many guys would prob­a­bly rather be unem­ployed than work in the same office as their ex. That’s with­out even con­sid­er­ing the risk of sex­ual harass­ment and lawsuits.

It’s a shame really because work can be a great place to get to know some­one, see how they inter­act with other peo­ple and even how they cope under pres­sure. There aren’t many places where you have so many oppor­tu­ni­ties to observe and con­sider a poten­tial date. Still it’s a risky one, so don’t say you weren’t warned. Before div­ing into a work romance, ask your­self if you’re okay with the idea of look­ing for a new job if things don’t work out.

Chance Encoun­ters

Par­tic­u­larly in sum­mer you’ll notice enough beau­ti­ful girls out and about to make a grown man sali­vate. They’re out shop­ping, sip­ping iced frap­puc­ci­nos, grab­bing a bite to eat, sun­ning them­selves at the pool, work­ing out at the gym, tak­ing strolls in parks etc. Unfor­tu­nately ran­dom encoun­ters with women you meet while out on errands or going about your daily busi­ness demand the most skill.

Unless you have balls of steel, it’s not easy to hit on a girl in the mid­dle of the day. It’s also hard to tell who is avail­able so even if you do strike up a great con­ver­sa­tion you’re not guar­an­teed a phone num­ber, let alone a hot date. You could increase your chances by hang­ing out more at cof­fee shops and other places that tend to attract women, but if you work your time is fairly lim­ited and you prob­a­bly need to use those hours more productively.

Church Meet­ings

If you think you need to be smooth to get a girls num­ber in a bar, then try this at church under the watch­ful eye of aunt Mary and Father Ted. If you do get together with a girl at church be pre­pared for your rela­tion­ship to be the source of lively gos­sip for the rest of the con­gre­ga­tion. Also sim­i­lar to meet­ing girls at work, if things don’t work out remem­ber that you’ll have to see the per­son reg­u­larly at church in the future.

If you’ve been vis­it­ing your church for a long time, you may already know all the girls there or per­haps you’ve already been on a date with the few who you find some­what attrac­tive. If your goal is a long term rela­tion­ship, church can help you to find girls with a good upbring­ing and moral com­pass, but it’s not be the best place to find a girl who’s up for a bit of fun in the bed­room if that’s impor­tant to you. Ask your­self: what would Jesus do? I’m guess­ing he’d enjoy the advan­tages of online dat­ing too.

Attract beau­ti­ful girls with­out phony rou­tines,
cheesy pick up lines or hav­ing to fake it!
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Hol­i­days and Cruise Ships

Hol­i­days are expen­sive and if you work, they are few and far between. Some des­ti­na­tions do attract a large sin­gles crowd look­ing for a party and these vaca­tions are usu­ally pricey and carry no guar­an­tees of meet­ing that some­one spe­cial, but at least you’ll get a tan.

If you’re con­sid­er­ing try­ing your luck meet­ing sin­gles on a cruise ship, bare in mind that few cruises are specif­i­cally designed for sin­gles. It’s impor­tant to find out the expected age dis­tri­b­u­tion before you go. Don’t for­get the price tag, either. You’ll have to pay a hefty price tag for a pri­vate room if you want some pri­vate time with a new-found friend.

Hol­i­days are great for hol­i­day romances, but look­ing for dates out of town increases the chance of becom­ing involved in a long dis­tance rela­tion­ship, which can be hard to sustain.

Blind Dates and Arranged Marriage

There is enough pres­sure going out on a date with some­one you’ve cho­sen, you don’t need the extra awk­ward­ness of hav­ing to explain to your friends who are try­ing to hook you up why sweet Susan wasn’t right for you. I’m sure you’d pre­fer to pick your own losers, wouldn’t you?

Arranged mar­riage is a bit old-fashioned, per­haps, but remov­ing the ele­ment of choice def­i­nitely makes dat­ing a whole lot eas­ier. Big plus. How­ever a quick show of hands reveals that most folks trust their own flawed dat­ing instincts more than their par­ents’ flawed dat­ing instincts.

So, How Does Online Dat­ing Compare…

It’s not impos­si­ble to meet girls with­out resort­ing to online dat­ing and this post about where to meet girls will give you some ideas, but online dat­ing is eas­ier, cheaper and more stress free than many of the alternatives. For the same fifty bucks you might blow at a bar on a Sat­ur­day night approach­ing no one, you could pay for a mem­ber­ship, start email­ing girls and arrange a bunch of hot dates for next week. Believe the hype: online dat­ing works!

Online dat­ing works because the approach is eas­ier, the rejec­tion is eas­ier, and the suc­cess rate is higher. Remem­ber that every­one on these sites is sin­gle and actively seek­ing, not like when you’re out at a bar where many women are just out to have fun with their friends.

In the past I would get into a rela­tion­ship and then get to know the per­son I was dat­ing. Now I get to know the per­son before I start dat­ing them.

Per­haps biggest advan­tage of online dat­ing is that you get to know your date before you meet her so you have more to talk about when you meet. It hap­pens all the time that guys meet some­body at a bar, get a phone num­ber and a kiss, and then start learn­ing about each other dur­ing their first date. Online dat­ing gives you the oppor­tu­nity to screen some­one for com­pat­i­bil­ity before you date them. This can save you a lot of time and hassle.

Also romance isn’t con­fined to the week­ends any­more because now you can reach out to some­one 24/7. Online dat­ing has become far too main­stream to ignore and is the lead­ing paid con­tent cat­e­gory in the Inter­net. So get over it. Every­body is doing it and you’ll be amazed by the qual­ity of the women in the Inter­net dat­ing world. So whether you’re look­ing for a great date, a “mean­ing­ful, overnight rela­tion­ship” or “the one”, online dat­ing is a great place to look.

So does online dat­ing really work and is online dat­ing worth it? You’d bet­ter believe it and you’d be crazy not to give it a try!

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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