Love is blind, but online dating is a real eye opener. Have you tried your hand at online dating? If so, perhaps you’re one of the 90% of men who gave up within the first few months because you weren’t getting good results. It’s a shame. Especially when you consider the many advantages of online dating.
Today, I’m going to help you avoid the 10 biggest online dating mistakes men make, so you can meet more fun and sexy girls through online dating.
Mistake #10: Picking Crappy Sites
This one mistake can cost many hours of your time. There are loads of lousy dating sites, some even create fake female profiles in order to beef up their member base. So men sign up for accounts on these low-budget sites, send out a bunch of emails and of course, they get very few (or none) back. No wonder guys get frustrated with online dating!
It’s much better to make the investment in a membership at one of the reputable sites like Match.com.
Match.com has led to more dates, more relationships and more marriages than any other site and has some of the best features for finding a great match.
Attract beautiful girls without acting fake,
following a complicated system, or being creepy!
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Mistake #9: Not Taking Enough Action
Just like in the real world, women like you to make the first move. So be proactive and don’t be discouraged if a girl doesn’t reply to your email. Most men don’t realize how rare it is to get responses from women on online dating sites.
Realistically, you’re probably only going to get 1 reply from 10 e-mails you send. Some men have to send dozens of e-mails just to get one response. So if you want to succeed at online dating, you have to take a lot of action. Of course you can improve your response rate if you upload good photos and create an interesting profile (discussed later).
If a woman doesn’t email you back right away, don’t send her a nasty email. Instead, send one polite follow-up and then move on.
Remember, women get a lot of emails and some women will respond to persistence. Just be sure to send only one follow up email or you might be considered a cyber stalker.
Mistake #8: Long Emails
Attractive women on dating sites get dozens of emails a day and they just don’t have time to read them all. Here are a few reasons why you should avoid long emails:
- Long emails take a long time to write, so in the time it takes to write one long email, you could have written two shorter emails to two girls and improved your chances of a response.
- Long emails are often counter-productive because they either look like a cut and paste job, or can make you come across as needy and reduce the likelihood of a response.
Keep your email short and be sure to refer to things she says in her profile. This will show that you’ve taken the time to read her profile (not just looked at her swimsuit photos) and that you’re interested in learning more about her.
It’s also a good idea to ask a question at the end of the email to get the conversation going and don’t forget to sign off with your real name.
Mistake #7: Boring Subject Lines
Considering how many emails women get on online dating sites, you can bet that most emails with boring subject lines aren’t going to get read. Many men make the mistake of using subject lines like: “Hi” or “What’s up?” or “Like your profile.” Boooring!
Use a headline that will pique her curiosity, help you to stand out from the crowd, or one that shows that you’ve read her profile.
Mistake #6: Bad Profiles
Your profile should give her an insight into your personality and interests and let her know what you’re looking for. Many men make the mistake of complaining about their past negative experiences, or talking about what they don’t want. People have had enough bad experiences of their own. If you vent yours in your profile, women are going to move on to someone with less baggage.
Other common profile problems are rambling and use a lot of clichés. Going on and on may make you look desperate, lonely, and disorganized. You want your profile to be honest, compelling, eye catching, specific, reflective of who you are, and different from everybody else’s efforts.
Also a lack of info is conspicuous, so don’t be lazy and leave sections out. Make sure you include information about your job, education, interests, favorite places etc. Remember this:
Good profiles say more than “I want, I want.” Good profiles say “I BRING, I BRING.”
(Check out this post for more helpful online dating profile tips.)
Mistake #5: Bad Photos
The goal of your profile photo should be to start a conversation. For example, if you’re playing a guitar in your profile picture, then she’ll know you’re musical and can easily start a conversation with something like: “Oh, you play guitar? Me too.” Profile pictures of people doing something interesting lead to a much higher quality of contacts.
There is only one thing worse than a bad photo on your online dating profile, and that’s no photo at all. Even if you have a face for radio, post your best current photos. Fortunately when it comes to looks, women are more forgiving than men and will often date a man more for what he says, how he acts, and who he is, than how he looks.
If you don’t upload any photos, it gives the impression that you have something to hide, or you have hang-ups, and this will seriously hurt your response rate. A few photos will often increase your response rate by up to a factor or eight!
So post several recent photos of yourself and make sure that most of your photos are a close-up so she can see what you look like. I recommend 3 close-up face photos, 2 full body photos and 3–5 photos of you having fun at interesting places. At least one photo should be of you indoors in your home and another outdoors in the yard, on the deck, by the pool etc. so she can get a feeling for the type of lifestyle you lead.
Common photo mistakes:
- Avoid pictures where you have your shirt off or where you have a drink in your hand, because you want to convey a little class.
- Avoid posting photos where you’ve “cropped” some other woman out of the shot.
- Avoid taking photos of yourself in the mirror or by holding the camera at arms length, because this comes off as a bit tawdry and cheap.
- Avoid uploading fake photos because nobody likes being lied to, which leads us nicely to our next mistake…
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Mistake #4: Fibbing
Be truthful about who you are. Many people lie online, particularly about their age and physical appearance. This is not helpful because she is bound to find out eventually and when she does, she will feel deceived. So make sure your age is accurate and that your physical description correlates with what your mirror reflects, not what your heart desires. If you are a little heavy, then say something like, “I’m a little heavy. I can live with it, can you?”
Remember: Sooner or later the intent is to meet face to face, and neither of you should be unpleasantly surprised.
Mistake #3: Not Reading Her Profile
Responding to something she mentioned in her profile shows that you’re interested in getting to know her as a person. Women hate getting generic e-mails that don’t show that you’ve taken the time to read her profile. Yes, it will take you some time, but read their profiles and make a comment about something they said otherwise you won’t be taken seriously so you’re wasting your time writing.
Mistake #2: Poor Spelling and Grammar
Make your English teacher proud. Check and double check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Spell check is your friend. Nothing will make you look more like a doofus than misspelled words or incorrect grammar in your profile and emails. Also avoid using short form words (e.g. “ur” instead of “your”) — littering your online profile with “texting” words will make you seem lazy and unintelligent.
It’s a great idea to ask a discreet female friend to read your listing to make sure it makes sense and has no major lapses in logic, taste, or grammar. Another set of eyes will often catch something you’ve missed.
Mistake #1: Dating Online
Online dating sites are a great place to meet women, but they’re a terrible place to build a relationship. Studies show that looking at a computer screen gives a false sense of intimacy with a resulting loss of inhibitions.
Until you meet someone in person, you don’t really know them. She could be lying on her profile or posting misleading photos. Your goal should be to meet offline as soon as possible. A week or two of online fantasy fun is sufficient.
Once you meet someone you’re interested in, don’t let any more than three emails go by before you ask for a phone number. Let her know that you want to get together face to face.
Interactions in person are the only way to tell if there is any chemistry there. Anything else could end up being a complete waste of time.
It’s true that when online dating first hit the scene there was a stigma attached to it: You met online? Couldn’t you meet someone the “real” way? The “real” way meant bars, or any other place people gather, or through a friend. That stigma has long since vanished, and for many people online dating is now the number one way to meet a potential partner.
I hope this info helps you to avoid the most common online dating mistakes that men make and get more fun dates with women. If you’re not already taking advantage of the many benefits of online dating, you should be. Start browsing for fun and sexy girls now at Match.com.
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