10 Biggest Online Dating Mistakes Men Make

Online Dating Mistakes

Avoid the 10 biggest online dat­ing mis­takes men make

Love is blind, but online dat­ing is a real eye opener. Have you tried your hand at online dat­ing? If so, per­haps you’re one of the 90% of men who gave up within the first few months because you weren’t get­ting good results. It’s a shame. Espe­cially when you con­sider the many advan­tages of online dat­ing.

Today, I’m going to help you avoid the 10 biggest online dat­ing mis­takes men make, so you can meet more fun and sexy girls through online dating.

Mis­take #10: Pick­ing Crappy Sites

This one mis­take can cost many hours of your time. There are loads of lousy dat­ing sites, some even cre­ate fake female pro­files in order to beef up their mem­ber base. So men sign up for accounts on these low-budget sites, send out a bunch of emails and of course, they get very few (or none) back. No won­der guys get frus­trated with online dating!

It’s much bet­ter to make the invest­ment in a mem­ber­ship at one of the rep­utable sites like Match.com.

Match.com has led to more dates, more rela­tion­ships and more mar­riages than any other site and has some of the best fea­tures for find­ing a great match.

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Mis­take #9: Not Tak­ing Enough Action

Just like in the real world, women like you to make the first move. So be proac­tive and don’t be dis­cour­aged if a girl doesn’t reply to your email. Most men don’t real­ize how rare it is to get responses from women on online dat­ing sites.

Real­is­ti­cally, you’re prob­a­bly only going to get 1 reply from 10 e-mails you send. Some men have to send dozens of e-mails just to get one response. So if you want to suc­ceed at online dat­ing, you have to take a lot of action. Of course you can improve your response rate if you upload good pho­tos and cre­ate an inter­est­ing pro­file (dis­cussed later).

If a woman doesn’t email you back right away, don’t send her a nasty email. Instead, send one polite follow-up and then move on.

Remem­ber, women get a lot of emails and some women will respond to persistence. Just be sure to send only one fol­low up email or you might be con­sid­ered a cyber stalker.

Mis­take #8: Long Emails

Attrac­tive women on dat­ing sites get dozens of emails a day and they just don’t have time to read them all. Here are a few rea­sons why you should avoid long emails:

  • Long emails take a long time to write, so in the time it takes to write one long email, you could have writ­ten two shorter emails to two girls and improved your chances of a response.
  • Long emails are often counter-productive because they either look like a cut and paste job, or can make you come across as needy and reduce the like­li­hood of a response. 

Keep your email short and be sure to refer to things she says in her pro­file. This will show that you’ve taken the time to read her pro­file (not just looked at her swim­suit pho­tos) and that you’re inter­ested in learn­ing more about her.

It’s also a good idea to ask a ques­tion at the end of the email to get the con­ver­sa­tion going and don’t for­get to sign off with your real name.

Mis­take #7: Bor­ing Sub­ject Lines

Con­sid­er­ing how many emails women get on online dat­ing sites, you can bet that most emails with bor­ing sub­ject lines aren’t going to get read. Many men make the mis­take of using sub­ject lines like: “Hi” or “What’s up?” or “Like your pro­file.” Boooring!

Use a head­line that will pique her curios­ity, help you to stand out from the crowd, or one that shows that you’ve read her profile.

Mis­take #6: Bad Profiles

Your pro­file should give her an insight into your per­son­al­ity and inter­ests and let her know what you’re look­ing for. Many men make the mis­take of com­plain­ing about their past neg­a­tive expe­ri­ences, or talk­ing about what they don’t want. People have had enough bad expe­ri­ences of their own. If you vent yours in your pro­file, women are going to move on to some­one with less baggage.

Other com­mon pro­file prob­lems are ram­bling and use a lot of clichés. Going on and on may make you look des­per­ate, lonely, and disorganized. You want your pro­file to be hon­est, com­pelling, eye catch­ing, spe­cific, reflec­tive of who you are, and dif­fer­ent from every­body else’s efforts.

Also a lack of info is con­spic­u­ous, so don’t be lazy and leave sec­tions out. Make sure you include infor­ma­tion about your job, edu­ca­tion, inter­ests, favorite places etc. Remem­ber this:

Good pro­files say more than “I want, I want.” Good pro­files say “I BRING, I BRING.”

(Check out this post for more help­ful online dat­ing pro­file tips.)

Mis­take #5: Bad Photos

The goal of your pro­file photo should be to start a con­ver­sa­tion. For exam­ple, if you’re play­ing a gui­tar in your pro­file pic­ture, then she’ll know you’re musi­cal and can eas­ily start a con­ver­sa­tion with some­thing like: “Oh, you play gui­tar? Me too.” Pro­file pic­tures of peo­ple doing some­thing inter­est­ing lead to a much higher qual­ity of contacts.

There is only one thing worse than a bad photo on your online dat­ing pro­file, and that’s no photo at all. Even if you have a face for radio, post your best cur­rent pho­tos. For­tu­nately when it comes to looks, women are more for­giv­ing than men and will often date a man more for what he says, how he acts, and who he is, than how he looks.

If you don’t upload any pho­tos, it gives the impres­sion that you have some­thing to hide, or you have hang-ups, and this will seri­ously hurt your response rate. A few pho­tos will often increase your response rate by up to a fac­tor or eight!

So post sev­eral recent pho­tos of your­self and make sure that most of your pho­tos are a close-up so she can see what you look like. I rec­om­mend 3 close-up face pho­tos, 2 full body pho­tos and 3–5 pho­tos of you hav­ing fun at inter­est­ing places. At least one photo should be of you indoors in your home and another out­doors in the yard, on the deck, by the pool etc. so she can get a feel­ing for the type of lifestyle you lead.

Com­mon photo mistakes:  

  • Avoid pic­tures where you have your shirt off or where you have a drink in your hand, because you want to con­vey a lit­tle class.
  • Avoid post­ing pho­tos where you’ve “cropped” some other woman out of the shot.
  • Avoid tak­ing pho­tos of your­self in the mir­ror or by hold­ing the cam­era at arms length, because this comes off as a bit tawdry and cheap.
  • Avoid upload­ing fake pho­tos because nobody likes being lied to, which leads us nicely to our next mistake…

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Mis­take #4: Fibbing

Be truth­ful about who you are. Many peo­ple lie online, par­tic­u­larly about their age and phys­i­cal appear­ance. This is not help­ful because she is bound to find out even­tu­ally and when she does, she will feel deceived. So make sure your age is accu­rate and that your phys­i­cal descrip­tion cor­re­lates with what your mir­ror reflects, not what your heart desires. If you are a lit­tle heavy, then say some­thing like, “I’m a lit­tle heavy. I can live with it, can you?”

Remem­ber: Sooner or later the intent is to meet face to face, and nei­ther of you should be unpleas­antly surprised.

Mis­take #3: Not Read­ing Her Profile

Respond­ing to some­thing she men­tioned in her pro­file shows that you’re inter­ested in get­ting to know her as a person. Women hate get­ting generic e-mails that don’t show that you’ve taken the time to read her pro­file. Yes, it will take you some time, but read their pro­files and make a com­ment about some­thing they said oth­er­wise you won’t be taken seri­ously so you’re wast­ing your time writing.

Mis­take #2: Poor Spelling and Grammar

Make your Eng­lish teacher proud. Check and dou­ble check your spelling, gram­mar, and punc­tu­a­tion. Spell check is your friend. Nothing will make you look more like a doo­fus than mis­spelled words or incor­rect gram­mar in your pro­file and emails. Also avoid using short form words (e.g. “ur” instead of “your”) — lit­ter­ing your online pro­file with “tex­ting” words will make you seem lazy and unintelligent.

It’s a great idea to ask a dis­creet female friend to read your list­ing to make sure it makes sense and has no major lapses in logic, taste, or gram­mar. Another set of eyes will often catch some­thing you’ve missed.

Mis­take #1: Dat­ing Online

Online dat­ing sites are a great place to meet women, but they’re a ter­ri­ble place to build a rela­tion­ship. Stud­ies show that look­ing at a com­puter screen gives a false sense of inti­macy with a result­ing loss of inhibitions.

Until you meet some­one in per­son, you don’t really know them. She could be lying on her pro­file or post­ing mis­lead­ing photos. Your goal should be to meet offline as soon as possible. A week or two of online fan­tasy fun is sufficient.

Once you meet some­one you’re inter­ested in, don’t let any more than three emails go by before you ask for a phone num­ber. Let her know that you want to get together face to face.

Inter­ac­tions in per­son are the only way to tell if there is any chem­istry there. Any­thing else could end up being a com­plete waste of time.


It’s true that when online dat­ing first hit the scene there was a stigma attached to it: You met online? Couldn’t you meet some­one the “real” way? The “real” way meant bars, or any other place peo­ple gather, or through a friend. That stigma has long since van­ished, and for many peo­ple online dat­ing is now the num­ber one way to meet a poten­tial partner.

I hope this info helps you to avoid the most com­mon online dat­ing mis­takes that men make and get more fun dates with women. If you’re not already tak­ing advan­tage of the many ben­e­fits of online dat­ing, you should be. Start brows­ing for fun and sexy girls now at Match.com.

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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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