What is Speed Dating and Does it Really Work?

How speed dating works

Dis­cover how speed dat­ing works and what it’s like

Guys often ask me what speed dat­ing is like. They want to know if speed dat­ing is worth it and if it really works.

It’s amaz­ing really that it took so long for peo­ple to come up with speed dat­ing. It’s clever, sim­ple and can also be a lot of fun. It com­bines the speed of Inter­net dat­ing with the face-to-face con­tact of a bar. The advan­tage being that every­one is avail­able and actively look­ing for that spe­cial someone.

How Does Speed Dat­ing Work?

Here’s a quick run down of how speed dat­ing (or turbo dat­ing) works:

  1. You find a speed/turbo dat­ing event in your town and sign up.
  2. You meet at the des­ig­nated place and time and take a seat at one of eight or ten tables for two, where a per­son of the oppo­site sex is also seated.
  3. When the per­son in charge, called the starter, gives you the go, you usu­ally have about 7 min­utes to talk and engage with the woman sit­ting oppo­site you.
  4. When the time is up, you change tables to meet some­one new.
  5. After you’ve met all eight or ten speed daters, you vote for those you want to see again and give your score card to the organizer.
  6. You go home.
  7. If — and only if — both of you voted for each other do you get the person’s con­tact info. This could mean get­ting to talk with every­one again, or nobody.

What is a Speed Dat­ing Score Card?

As men­tioned above, the score card is the card you use to vote for the women you’d like to see again. If you vote for a girl and she also votes for you with her score card, then the speed date event orga­niz­ers will pro­vide you with each other’s con­tact details. Obviously the more peo­ple you vote for, the higher you chances of get­ting someone’s num­ber and arrang­ing a date.

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Does Speed Dat­ing Work?

Some guys worry that speed dat­ing is for losers, but when was the last time you went out to a bar and chat­ted with eight or ten sin­gle women? Espe­cially if you have a full-time job and time is short, speed dat­ing can be a great way to quickly meet a lot sin­gle women.

Another com­mon con­cern is not being able to tell what a per­son is really like in such a short amount of time. First impres­sions are impor­tant and you’ll be sur­prised how quickly you’ll make your own mind up about someone.

Remem­ber that in the real world you sel­dom get more time to inter­act with peo­ple with­out dis­trac­tion. And if you make a good first impres­sion with your per­sonal groom­ing, con­fi­dent body lan­guage and engag­ing con­ver­sa­tion, then the first date will be an oppor­tu­nity to get to know each other better.

Is Speed Dat­ing Good for Shy Guys?

I under­stand that if you’re a shy guy who are not con­fi­dent talk­ing to women, the idea of speed dat­ing is very intim­i­dat­ing. It’s true that speed dat­ing favors out­go­ing peo­ple who are con­fi­dent, quick-witted and fast on their feet. Not every­one is a good inter­viewer or stand up comic, but the only way to improve your skills with women is to practice.

Speed dat­ing offers an excel­lent oppor­tu­nity to meet lots of women and to desen­si­tize your­self to your fear of talk­ing to women and rejec­tion. Yes, you will get rejected, even from girls you might have thought you had a chance with, but that’s life and you need to learn to deal with it.

It’s really all about your atti­tude. If you go to a speed dat­ing event expect­ing to meet “the one” you’ll prob­a­bly be ner­vous and set your­self up for dis­ap­pointed so don’t take the event too seri­ously. Instead go with the atti­tude of hav­ing fun evening out, and chal­lenge your­self to find some­thing inter­est­ing about all the women, even the women you’re not inter­ested in.

Don’t under­es­ti­mate the value of the skills you will pick up while speed dat­ing. Take a chance and research speed dat­ing events in your area, even if it’s just for the expe­ri­ence, and who knows you might just get lucky and meet that spe­cial someone.


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About Tyler Duncan

I'm not naturally good with women. Most of what I know I learned the hard way. I know how it feels to be too shy to approach, to get stuck in the "Friend Zone" and have girls flake on me. Check out this embarrassing post about How I Got My First Slap →

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