Guys often ask me what speed dating is like. They want to know if speed dating is worth it and if it really works.
It’s amazing really that it took so long for people to come up with speed dating. It’s clever, simple and can also be a lot of fun. It combines the speed of Internet dating with the face-to-face contact of a bar. The advantage being that everyone is available and actively looking for that special someone.
How Does Speed Dating Work?
Here’s a quick run down of how speed dating (or turbo dating) works:
- You find a speed/turbo dating event in your town and sign up.
- You meet at the designated place and time and take a seat at one of eight or ten tables for two, where a person of the opposite sex is also seated.
- When the person in charge, called the starter, gives you the go, you usually have about 7 minutes to talk and engage with the woman sitting opposite you.
- When the time is up, you change tables to meet someone new.
- After you’ve met all eight or ten speed daters, you vote for those you want to see again and give your score card to the organizer.
- You go home.
- If — and only if — both of you voted for each other do you get the person’s contact info. This could mean getting to talk with everyone again, or nobody.
What is a Speed Dating Score Card?
As mentioned above, the score card is the card you use to vote for the women you’d like to see again. If you vote for a girl and she also votes for you with her score card, then the speed date event organizers will provide you with each other’s contact details. Obviously the more people you vote for, the higher you chances of getting someone’s number and arranging a date.
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Does Speed Dating Work?
Some guys worry that speed dating is for losers, but when was the last time you went out to a bar and chatted with eight or ten single women? Especially if you have a full-time job and time is short, speed dating can be a great way to quickly meet a lot single women.
Another common concern is not being able to tell what a person is really like in such a short amount of time. First impressions are important and you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll make your own mind up about someone.
Remember that in the real world you seldom get more time to interact with people without distraction. And if you make a good first impression with your personal grooming, confident body language and engaging conversation, then the first date will be an opportunity to get to know each other better.
Is Speed Dating Good for Shy Guys?
I understand that if you’re a shy guy who are not confident talking to women, the idea of speed dating is very intimidating. It’s true that speed dating favors outgoing people who are confident, quick-witted and fast on their feet. Not everyone is a good interviewer or stand up comic, but the only way to improve your skills with women is to practice.
Speed dating offers an excellent opportunity to meet lots of women and to desensitize yourself to your fear of talking to women and rejection. Yes, you will get rejected, even from girls you might have thought you had a chance with, but that’s life and you need to learn to deal with it.
It’s really all about your attitude. If you go to a speed dating event expecting to meet “the one” you’ll probably be nervous and set yourself up for disappointed so don’t take the event too seriously. Instead go with the attitude of having fun evening out, and challenge yourself to find something interesting about all the women, even the women you’re not interested in.
Don’t underestimate the value of the skills you will pick up while speed dating. Take a chance and research speed dating events in your area, even if it’s just for the experience, and who knows you might just get lucky and meet that special someone.
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